Will Durst

Recent Articles

Durst Case Scenario: Obama Remojoed
Durst Case Scenario

Obama Remojoed

President Barack Obama got his mojo back at the second presidential debate, says Will Durst, while Mitt Romney stepped into the Benghazi tiger trap.

Durst Case Scenario: Ringside at the undercard
Durst Case Scenario

Ringside at the undercard

Joe Biden and Paul Ryan took off the gloves and put their red, white and blue Lucha Libre masks for this year's vice presidential wrestling match, er, debate.

Durst Case Scenario: The Audacity of Mendacity
Durst Case Scenario

The Audacity of Mendacity

Will Durst tries to figure out why President Obama appeared to be sleepwalking during the first debate. Was he stunned by the audacity of Romney's mendacity?

Durst Case Scenario: October Surprises
Durst Case Scenario

October Surprises

The first presidential debate is tonight, but Will Durst has his eye on the campaign's real gamechanger, The October Surprise.

Durst Case Scenario: Worst campaign ever?
Durst Case Scenario

Worst campaign ever?

Will Durst says Mitt Romney's campaign has gone "beyond breaking bad to the point of broken bad." There's a certain percentage of Americans who might agree.

Durst Case Scenario: Spinning the Zero Bounce
Durst Case Scenario

Spinning the Zero Bounce

For most election, each candidate gets a post-convention Bounce, but "Mitt Romney got the same kind of Bounce you’d expect from an anvil dropped onto a swamp."

Durst Case Scenario: High atop the deep bench
Durst Case Scenario

High atop the deep bench

At the DNC, Dems brought a deep bench of speakers, including Bill Clinton, which wasn't really fair. After all, the GOP doesn't have a former president to...oh wait.

Durst Case Scenario: The Stealth Convention
Durst Case Scenario

The Stealth Convention

Will Durst breaks down the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida.

Durst Case Scenario: Oh, my Akin ideology
Durst Case Scenario

Oh, my Akin ideology

In one fell swoop, Todd Akin wins the Joe Biden “Foot So Deep In His Mouth He’s Probably Tickling His Spleen with His Shoelaces” Lifetime Achievement Award.

Durst Case Scenario: The Bold Choice
Durst Case Scenario

The Bold Choice

Paul Ryan for VP was hailed as a bold choice, but bold doesn't necessarily mean good. Whiskey for breakfast is a bold choice, too, says Will Durst.

Durst: The Barack Obama Election Year Decathlon
Durst

The Barack Obama Election Year Decathlon

The XXX Olympics is in the books, but this year, there's a few campaign hurdles and sprints in store for President Obama. Will Durst breaks down the "events."

Durst: A Staggeringly Stumbling Trip
Durst

A Staggeringly Stumbling Trip

Mitt and Ann ventured forth on an international tour last month. Will Durst has all the highlights (and lowlights) of the trip.

Durst: The Presumptive Tax Dodger
Durst

The Presumptive Tax Dodger

Will Durst offers up a list of conjectures on possible skeletons buried in the Mitt Romney tax crypts.

Durst: The Bain of his electorial existence
Durst

The Bain of his electorial existence

The closer we get to the 2012 presidential election, the more questions arise about Mitt, his employment history and the whereabouts of his tax returns.

Durst: The Care Less Party
Durst

The Care Less Party

The GOP tried to set off some indoor fireworks in July by voting to repeal Obama Care. Problem is, they've already cast the same vote 32 other times.

Durst: Plenty of G-20
Durst

Plenty of G-20

World leaders converged in Los Cabos for the G-20 Summit and "it was heartily agreed that decisive action will definitely be required. Someday. By someone."

Durst: Campaign Treasure Hunters
Durst

Campaign Treasure Hunters

Armies of cash-hungry zombies are rising up in the 2012 presidential campaign's Amazing Race for Wampum. "Negative ads don't grow on trees," says Will Durst.

Durst: The Potemkin Candidate
Durst

The Potemkin Candidate

Mitt Romney secured the Republican nomination in Texas, and then went palling around with Donald Trump. Are we looking at a Romney/Trump 2012 ticket?

Durst: Summer Day One, 2012
Durst

Summer Day One, 2012

Disregard the calendar, Summer starts on Memorial Day. Gentlemen: Start your Webers.

Durst: And Lukewarm was his name-o
Durst

And Lukewarm was his name-o

After some less-than-enthused endorsements from President Dubya and Rick Santorum, Will Durst brings you a few "passion-challenged tributes" for Mitt Romney.

Durst: Evoluting fabulously
Durst

Evoluting fabulously

Barack Obama proclaimed his support for same sex marriage, and Will Durst sees a President evolving.

Durst: 2012 Veepstakes
Durst

2012 Veepstakes

Since Mitt has the Republican Romination locked down, the Veepstakes is on in full force. See who Durst thinks has the best odds. Will there be a Game Change?

Durst: Precisely pivoting polls
Durst

Precisely pivoting polls

Will Durst dives into the hyper-specific world of election polls. Who has the lead in the coveted "unmarried men unable to program their own DVRs" demographic?

Durst: Shaking the fleas off the dog
Durst

Shaking the fleas off the dog

Primary season is over and the road toward the general election is upon us. Time for Mitt Romney to shake up the etch-a-sketch and reshuffle the deck.

Durst: Angrier Birds
Durst

Angrier Birds

Today, Durst forwards a new conspiracy theory: The GOP primaries were nothing more than a live-action game of Angry Birds.

Durst: Obama Care Bears & Walruses
Durst

Obama Care Bears & Walruses

The nation waits on surgical pins and sealing wax needles for the Supreme Court's decision on the health care law.

Durst: Romney, Inc.
Durst

Romney, Inc.

Romney staffers called him the Etch-A-Sketch candidate. But the toy works via magnetism, a concept that eludes the former Governor, says Will Durst.

Durst: We’re all Muppets here
Durst

We’re all Muppets here

In the wake of Greg Smith's New York Times op-ed, Will Durst says we're all Muppets to the Mitt Romneys and Koch Brothers of the world.

Durst: Not So Super Tuesday report
Durst

Not So Super Tuesday report

After Super Tuesday, the Republican Party is ready to get behind their candidate and begin the long march to November. Or not.

Durst: A Tale of Two Romneys
Durst

A Tale of Two Romneys

Will Durst explains how Mitt Romney's biggest challenge might not be from Sen. Rick Santorum, but from his alter ego, Flipper Mitt.

Durst: The Ayatollah of Pennsylvania
Durst

The Ayatollah of Pennsylvania

You could say Rick Santorum is old fashioned, but Will Durst says it might be more precise to say he's Old Testament. It's Santorum's turn as Not Romney.

Durst: The 2012 Political Animal Awards
Durst

The 2012 Political Animal Awards

With awards season in full swing, it's time to add one more to the seemingly endless list, Will Durst's Political Animal Awards.

Durst: A tone-deaf tin-eared borg
Durst

A tone-deaf tin-eared borg

Every time Republicans get close to walking down the aisle with the former governor from Massachusetts, something goes awry. What is it about Mitt?

Durst: The GOP Soap Opera
Durst

The GOP Soap Opera

It's the Republican Reality TV show, where the last person voted off the island becomes the next Red American Idol.

Durst: High on the Mainstream embankment
Durst

High on the Mainstream embankment

First Newt Gingrich rips Ron Paul for being too far outside the Mainstream, then Mitt Romney says the same about Newt. Meanwhile, Will Durst surveys the waters.

Durst: Barack H. Obama 2012 State of the Union Drinking Game
Durst

Barack H. Obama 2012 State of the Union Drinking Game

Bottoms up! It's time for the 2012 State of the Union Address.

Durst: Southern fried vultures
Durst

Southern fried vultures

The next round of Anybody But Romney moves to South Carolina, and the competition is circling, looking to derail Mr. Bain Capital.

Durst: Frequently asked questions about the Iowa Caucuses
Durst

Frequently asked questions about the Iowa Caucuses

The first step toward determining the Republican presidential nominee starts today in Iowa. Why Iowa? And what are caucuses? Will Durst explains.

Will Dur$t’$ 2011 X-Ma$ Gift Wi$h Li$t

Will Dur$t’$ 2011 X-Ma$ Gift Wi$h Li$t

Will Durst has gifts ready for 2011's newsmakers, including President Obama, Newt Gingrich, Governor Walker, Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, and the Mayans.

Durst: Weasel Boy versus Plastic Man
Durst

Weasel Boy versus Plastic Man

Barring a second bout of primary puppy love, the race for the GOP Presidential nomination is down to the Newtster and Mittens, and the gloves are off.

Durst: Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2011
Durst

Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2011

Who gets the prize of being number one? Occupy Wall Street? Rick Perry's debate woes? Or could it be cheating politicians Anthony Weiner and Herman Cain?

Durst: Whack-A-Pol
Durst

Whack-A-Pol

Will Durst listens in on GOP headquarters, where they're playing a game called "Anybody but Romney." Think "Whack-A-Mole" with media mallets.

Durst: Turkey Holocaust Day 2011
Durst

Turkey Holocaust Day 2011

Will Durst gives thanks for everyone from Barack Obama to Herman Cain to Dick Cheney to the Occupy Wall Streeters. What more could a political satirist ask for?

Durst: Grope and change
Durst

Grope and change

The Herman Cain saga is a classic case of he said, she said. She said. She said. She said. She said.

Durst: The delta of denial
Durst

The delta of denial

Nobody could ever mistake DC for the real world. It’s an encapsulated bubble. A yuppie terrarium. A work free drug zone. But hey, the Smithsonian is nice.

Durst: I don’t know nothing
Durst

I don’t know nothing

We don’t know why CSI: Miami is still on the air. We don’t know why John Boehner is so orange. Let's face it, when it gets down to it, we don't know nothing.

Durst: Wearing my debate fatigues
Durst

Wearing my debate fatigues

Sound the alarm! A feverish America finds itself larynx-deep in the throes of a new epidemic: GOP debate fatigue.

Durst: A scoop of non-vanilla
Durst

A scoop of non-vanilla

Godfather Pizza CEO Herman Cain rises to the top of the polls in the GOP primary, but is he just another flavor of the week? Durst explains.

Durst: IT’S MY MONEY!
Durst

IT’S MY MONEY!

Five bucks a month to use ATM cards? Apparently, being nickeled and dimed to death by the banks was the good old days.

Durst: Prom Queen Anguish
Durst

Prom Queen Anguish

In politics, as in life, we mostly want what we can't have. Just ask the GOP as they desperately search for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Durst: Trickle up economics
Durst

Trickle up economics

Obama calls for Buffett Rule taxes on the rich, and the GOP dances the class war boogie all the way to the bank.

Durst: Hot Dog Time
Durst

Hot Dog Time

America is broke and it'll take more than eating hot dogs to weather the tough times. Billboard space on the Washington Monument? A cover charge at the border? It's all on the table.

Durst: Red Meat Slam Dance
Durst

Red Meat Slam Dance

Frontrunners and challengers traded blows at the Republican presidential debate at the Ronald Reagan Library. Sanity, however, was not in attendance.

Durst: GOP Pledge Drive
Durst

GOP Pledge Drive

There's the Susan B. Anthony Pledge, the Anti-Gay Marriage Pledge, and now, the Marriage Vow. This campaign season, the whole pledging thing has rocketed out of control.

Durst: Mister Nuzzle & Muzzle
Durst

Mister Nuzzle & Muzzle

Texas governor Rick Perry claims he only entered the fray because God told him to, begging the question: Why does God hate America so much?

Durst: Super Duper Congress
Durst

Super Duper Congress

Slower than a slug on Thorazine; less powerful than a soggy Kleenex; unable to compromise in a million years. It’s a ruse, it’s a sham, it’s…Super Congress!

Durst: The Great Concessionaire
Durst

The Great Concessionaire

It's hard to understand why Progressives are mad at Obama. After all, he didn’t do anything...besides cave faster than an overused supply tunnel in a Chilean coal mine.

Durst: Gibberish and Manure
Durst

Gibberish and Manure

The situation on Capitol Hill has become so confusing, we’re going to need a nuclear physicist to precisely explain what is happening. Instead, you got me.

Durst: Back in the Fold
Durst

Back in the Fold

The U.S. could slip into default, leading to the worst possible scenario: We have to move back in with England. Think it’s embarrassing slinking home after college? Try waiting 235 years.

Durst: Crouching Lurkers
Durst

Crouching Lurkers

The US economy is about to meltdown like a popsicle left on a picnic table.All hell is about to break loose. Don't you get it? We're doomed! Then again, maybe not.

Durst: Pity the Poor Rich
Durst

Pity the Poor Rich

People, settle down. The rich are just like the rest of us -- they put their Egyptian silk trousers on one leg at a time, same as you and me.

Will Durst: Killer Carnivorous Snails from France
Will Durst

Killer Carnivorous Snails from France

No more livin' high on the hog, Durst suggests some ways America can make some dough

Durst: Dark Wizards Convene
Durst

Dark Wizards Convene

CNN hosted the first GOP debate of the year that involved actual candidates and some clear winners did emerge: the 99.99% of Americans who neglected to watch it.

Durst: Weinergate
Durst

Weinergate

Once again, a political official loses their dignity at the hands of technology. In the case of Congressman Anthony Weiner, how do you parody a parody?

Durst: Corroded Clockwork
Durst

Corroded Clockwork

Once again, the GOP find themselves in a PR nightmare over their plan to reform Medicare, which some folks say is akin to a tornado’s plan to reform trailer courts.

Durst: Summer: Day One
Durst

Summer

Forget the almanac. And the calendar. The true wormhole opening to summer is not the upcoming solstice on June 21st; it's the last Monday of May, Memorial Day.

Durst: Yes, Virginia, Some Men Are Pigs
Durst

Yes, Virginia, Some Men Are Pigs

Berlusconi. Edwards. Strauss-Kahn. The Governator. What's the deal with male politicians these days? Sure, power is an aphrodisiac, but have they lost their minds?

Durst: Run, Newt, Run!
Durst

Run, Newt, Run!

Newt Gingrich will run for the presidency in 2012. For every analyst, pundit, and satirist everywhere, allow me to say: Hooray! Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Durst: Obama gets Osama
Durst

Obama gets Osama

Pull the banner out of storage and string it back across the aircraft carrier. Because this time, Mission Really Accomplished

Durst: Birther bozos need a new nose
Durst

Birther bozos need a new nose

The release of Obama's long-form birth certificate should put an end to all this nonsense, but it won't. People believe what they want to believe, facts be damned.

Durst: Hiccuping Volcanoes
Durst

Hiccuping Volcanoes

Gotta love The Right. They try to stick to the issues, but moral indignation gets the best of them. Never mind the deficit; the wages of sin must first be paid.

Durst: Armageddon at the DC Corral
Durst

Armageddon at the DC Corral

The government didn't shut down, but the battles aren't over. Just like Broadway's "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark," this was but a preview.

Durst: America: You’re Fired!
Durst

America

With the GOP playing a game of political chicken with a 2012 presidential run, billionaire Donald Trump has tossed his hat --and $600 million --in the ring.

Durst: Obama, No-Fly Guy
Durst

Obama, No-Fly Guy

We finally get most of our boys out of Iraq, and boom! Up jumps another crisis. Superman should have warned us that this superhero thing can be really tiresome.

Durst: Pitchforks and Rainbows
Durst

Pitchforks and Rainbows

America may have dodged damage from the killer tsunami, but a dangerous phenomenon threatens to wash across our nation: concrete political intransigence.

Durst: Madness in Madtown
Durst

Madness in Madtown

If you think The Walker Coup means this issue is dead, you’re not paying attention. The GOP have overreached and awakened a sleeping giant.

Durst: Democracy is the new black
Durst

Democracy is the new black

Congratulations to the freedom-loving nations that are standing up to dictatorships and embracing democracy. But I must warn you: self-rule is no bed of roses.

Durst: Suit You
Durst

Suit You

We get it - the government is broke. So how do we get our hands on some of the money that's out there? The answer: We take it. It's the American Way.

Durst: One man’s pork is another man’s paycheck
Durst

One man’s pork is another man’s paycheck

While Left and Right bristle and posture in public over the federal budget, Obama remains confident he can find common ground with the GOP in private.Good Luck.

Durst: 100 Years of Reagan
Durst

100 Years of Reagan

Before we get all nostalgic over the Gipper's 100th birth anniversary, let us not forget that the Father of Modern Conservatism was not Saint Ronny.

Durst: Denial on de Nile
Durst

Denial on de Nile

As the people of Egypt revolt against tyranny, Mubarak uses the largest arrow in a dictator's quiver - denial.

Durst: Boffo smash or miserable flop?
Durst

Boffo smash or miserable flop?

In terms of political theater, Obama's State of the Union address could best be described as a work-in-progress, managing to flummox critics and angels alike.

Durst: The State of the Union Drinking Game!
Durst

The State of the Union Drinking Game!

Every time John Boehner cries, take a shot. For each mention of bipartisanship, take two shots. Who says the State of the Union address has to be all business?

Durst: Predictions for 2011
Durst

Predictions for 2011

Now is the time to sweep away the debris of 2010 and build on the foundation of tomorrow. This sentiment guaranteed to last a week before all hell breaks loose.

Durst: 2010 Holiday Wi$h Li$t
Durst

2010 Holiday Wi$h Li$t

For those folks who didn't get the egregious booty they wanted this holiday, Will Durst offers up this scathingly incisive, yet curiously refreshing Wish List.

Durst: Top 10 Comedic Newsmakers of the Last Decade
Durst

Top 10 Comedic Newsmakers of the Last Decade

From Cheney's infamous hunting trip to bathroom encounters gone awry, Will Durst offers a list of some of the strangest news stories from the last 10 years.

Durst: Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2010
Durst

Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2010

Christine O'Donnell is NOT a witch; Glenn Beck "reclaims" the Civil Rights Movement: a look at 2010's most guffaw-inducing headlines.

Durst: Top 10 Christmas presents for Wall Street Fat Cats
Durst

Top 10 Christmas presents for Wall Street Fat Cats

What to get the person who can buy anything? Will Durst offers a catalog of prospective Christmas gifts for your favorite Wall Street Tycoon.

Durst: Flying the overly-friendly skies
Durst

Flying the overly-friendly skies

One thing you can say about this whole TSA enhanced pat down mess: nobody will ever board Virgin Airlines again without ruefully grimacing.

Durst: Thanksgiving Memories
Durst

Thanksgiving Memories

A fond look back at mutant turkeys, Jell-O molds and the joys of having the entire family under one roof -- drunk and filled with 13-bean salad.

Durst: The Great Decider…or something like that
Durst

The Great Decider…or something like that

You have to marvel at George W Bush’s audacious return to the national stage. Apparently, even putative war criminals got to make a living.

Durst: Democracy’s Labor Pains
Durst

Democracy’s Labor Pains

Yeah, the GOP did well. After a change in Administrations, the minority party won a bunch of House seats in the midterm election. It's nothing new. Calm down.

Will Durst: Don’t vote
Will Durst

Don’t vote

If voting were actually effective, they would have been made it illegal by now, so just stay home today. It's not like one vote counts anyway, right?

Will Durst: Blind, Deaf and Dumb
Will Durst

Blind, Deaf and Dumb

The precise word to explain this season’s big trend in campaign financing is "obliviousness."

Will Durst: Facts are stubborn things
Will Durst

Facts are stubborn things

In the height of election season, when rhetoric reigns supreme, Will Durst taps the electorate for what matters most: God, family, kittens, rainbows...

Durst: Pixie dust blues
Durst

Pixie dust blues

Who is that masked superhero zoooming across the country on treacherous adventures to save the Democratic damsel?

Will Durst: She’s in the attic!
Will Durst

She’s in the attic!

In less than a week, Christine O'Donnell managed to introduce both witchcraft and masturbation into the national conversation.

Will Durst: To doom, or not to doom?
Will Durst

To doom, or not to doom?

Gallup released a poll giving the GOP a 10 point lead with voters, spelling deep, dark Democratic Party doom. But then again, maybe not so much.

Will Durst: Happy Labor Day
Will Durst

Happy Labor Day

One day to celebrate true American heroes. The ones who keep democracy alive and shaking and moving and growing -- you and me.

Will Durst: Obama’s creed cred
Will Durst

Obama’s creed cred

A few years ago anybody who spoke badly of the President was immediately labeled a traitor and accused of coddling the terrorists with a back rub. Not any more.

Will Durst: Mosquerade Party
Will Durst

Mosquerade Party

There is only one decent reason a Mosque should be built 2 blocks from Ground Zero. It’s called the 1st Amendment. The one good reason not to? It's called grace.

Waters and Rangel: swamp drainage detritus
Waters and Rangel

swamp drainage detritus

Democrats may not have invented the circular firing squad, but you got to admit, they sure have perfected it.

Blind justice flies the rainbow flag

Blind justice flies the rainbow flag

George H.W. Bush appointee Chief Judge Vaughn Walker overturns Prop 8 under the crazy notion that the legality of marriage is not about values - it's about rights.

Afghanistan, our own spa-spangled bog

Afghanistan, our own spa-spangled bog

To say the Afghan War Diary reveals a disparity between public position and ground-level reality is like pointing out the difference between yoga and bayonets.

Blind, reckless or just plain mean?

Blind, reckless or just plain mean?

What is wrong with the GOP? They must see that reinforcing their stereotype as the Party Of The Rich is not a good idea. Or maybe not.

Happy 234th birthday, America

Happy 234th birthday, America

Here’s hoping your Independence Day is beyond terrific. No matter what side of the political spectrum your team plays on, this is a non-partisan party.

Vampire Nation: taking a bite out of blood suckers
Vampire Nation

taking a bite out of blood suckers

Vampires used to be stylish and dangerous. These days, Children of the Night sightings are as frequent as Law & Order reruns.

Politics as usual

Politics as usual

It's comforting to know that no matter how urgent the crisis facing the American people, our politicians will find ample time to grandstand.

Cowboy Down

Cowboy Down

Mister President, you are many things. But Chief Executive of Butt Kicking is not what we hired you for.

The bright side of the BP oil spill

The bright side of the BP oil spill

America has always been the Imperial Wizard of the International Optimists League. When we're handed lemons, we make lemonade. All we need is a couple of dump trucks full of sugar and ironically, some clean water.

The Third Gulf War

The Third Gulf War

BP’s sole object is protecting profit. Covering corporate butt. In the last six weeks, not a single word that has leaked out of their mouths has been true.

Secret Weapon

Secret Weapon

Democrats have a secret weapon this November, and his name is Michael Steele -- the RNC chairman who's ruffled so many feathers that the fluttering excess could fill every hotel pillow case in Vegas.

Manhattan Flannel

Manhattan Flannel

There they go again. The Democrats, that is.

Brainless Pinheads

Brainless Pinheads

BP first announced that the seepage from the MC252 well was barely a couple of drips. Nothing to worry about. More oil pooled on your average garage floor. Isn't that cute.

Earth Attacks!

Earth Attacks!

TCD welcomes Will Durst: The belching of Eyjafjallajokull was a cautionary notice to not take humankind too seriously.