It’s only April, stay cool. (3-6)

Dear Ken,

It’s been a tough start, but stay cool. Let the Fonz show you how – that’s what he’s here for. Forget that we’re still looking for that first series win after dropping four of six games at home against the Chicago Cubs and Cincinnati Reds. No need to fluster; it’s April. Here’s some free advice I think can help our Crew.

About the starting rotation: Bloggers are calling for Jeff Suppan’s head after Monday’s debacle. I saw the look on your face after his third consecutive bases-loaded walk; I’m not surprised that you pushed Soup back in the rotation so he can work on throwing strikes without, you know, giving away ballgames to our archrivals. Yovani Gallardo suffered some growing pains when the Reds busted him for seven runs Tuesday. Shit happens, YoGa will be fine. Manny Parra and Braden Looper looked solid in their outings, and I’m liking the back half of the rotation.

Now about those bats: Word on the street is Ryan Braun is nursing that intercostal strain from last year, which is why he’s off to a slow, homer-less start. You have seven other hitters to pick up the slack. Mike Cameron is on fire, the best we’ve seen him hit in Milwaukee. Corey Hart is looking better; thanks for passing along my advice about laying off those low-and-away breaking pitches. “Pretty” Rickie Weeks is showing some pop in his bat, but I’m not sure he belongs in the leadoff spot with his strikeout numbers. Try batting him in the six or seven spot, and put Kendall in the leadoff spot like you did in Oakland.

Your bullpen is like a box of chocolates: They’ve only blown one lead, but maybe that’s because they haven’t inhereted very many leads yet. It’s early, but it scares me that Todd Coffey has the best-looking arm of the bunch. You must be looking forward to closer Trevor Hoffman’s return; I like Carlos Villanueva better in middle relief.

Notes to pass along to the guys:

Bill Hall:  Slightly above average is all we need. Maintain.
Dave Bush:  Love the beard; it’s way badder than Corey’s.
Bill Schroeder:  If you see Trenni Kuznierek, tell her we miss her.
Craig Counsell:  Keep it gritty. That’s how we do in North Central Little League.
Brian Anderson:  I never made the “connection” between Wilco and Grateful Dead fans, thanks for pointing that out. I’m sure Jeff Tweedy appreciated it.

That should do it, Ken. Stay positive, and be well on your upcoming eleven-game road trip.

Best,

Adam Lovinus