2008-12 Vital Source Mag – December 2008
Roses in December
Artistic Director Mark Bucher is quite proud of the fact the Boulevard Theatre consistently produces plays that are premieres in Milwaukee. The most recent premiere produced by the Boulevard is Roses in December, by Victor L. Cahn. A play composed entirely of letters with no true interaction between characters can be daunting for both the director as well as the actors. However, the Boulevard proved incredibly capable with this early work of Cahn’s. The correspondence begins with a young woman, Carolyn Meyers, inviting a writer, Joel Gordon, to a college reunion. Even though Carolyn writes in a professional capacity, she also has a few personal reasons that unravel as their letters become less perfunctory and more intimate. Although Joel sees her letters as mildly annoying he begins to enjoy them and appreciate his growing relationship with Carolyn. With only two characters that are never physically in the same location, both actors need to respond to a growing relationship with another human being via letters. In the first half of the show, Bucher allowed his actors only a single moment of eye contact. As their letters deepen and explore the past, Bucher allows more direct interaction which helps to heighten the devotion both Joel and Carolyn feel towards their long distance relationship. Anne Miller, playing Carolyn, is as charming as Carolyn’s self-description. Miller’s exuberance and refined determination drive the play forward making a series of what could just be monologues into a lively exchange. David Ferrie lends an oddly engaging allure to a character that could easily be played as a one dimensional curmudgeon. Ferrie gives his character layer after layer of history and pathology that shape Joel’s entire adult life, lifting each overlay only when appropriate. Miller and Ferrie’s work together build the complex relationship that this type of play demands. Roses in December runs through January 18 at the Boulevard Theatre in Bayview. 414.744.5757 or boulevardtheatre.com.
Dec 30th, 2008 by Russ Bickerstaff
Dale Gutzman’s Holiday Punch Green
Spiked with humor and a generous spritz of decadence, Dale Gutzman’s Holiday Punch Green lightly focuses on environmental issues. Together with this politically correct “green” emphasis, the two-hour performance also spoofs Gutzmans’s longevity as the company’s artistic director. In these 28 loosely related sketches, the twelve cast members (including Gutzman who appears on stage to host the show) change costumes and scenes effortlessly in the intimate space while Chris Wszaleck’s piano and Patrick Hopkins’ percussion provide the music. The revue presents Gutzman’s particular take on the holidays with panache and a decidedly deviant slant, although several installments could be eliminated to spark a stronger show. During the first half, a number titled “That Special Store” parodies West Side Story with a clever rendition of ”IKEA…the most beautiful store I ever knew”to the award-winning melody of Maria.Jeremy C. Welter follows by singing the timely and touching Brother Can You Spare A Dime? Even box office manager Mary R. Henricksen participates with two satiric versions of The Night Before Christmas in mocking tribute to Off the Wall Theatre. Just before the intermission, a rousing version of Obama Mia! reprises the popularity of Abba’s musical and movie phenomena with catchy political lyrics honoring the recent election. When returning to the theater after sipping real punch, the second act showcases the musical numbers Hard Candy Christmas, featuring the feminine side of Off the Wall, and If I Ruled the World sung solo by Gutzman. A very funny finale closes the show, which was never intended to offer family-friendly entertainment, with a piece that makes this all too apparent. Yet when Off the Wall’s Rickettes immortalize New York’s famous Rockettes to celebrate their 75th birthday the comedic choreography portrays the male cast baring their bellies and legs to conclude the evening with raucous hilarity. While this spicy Holiday Punch may be a delightful drink for those seeking adult seasonal spirits and entertainment, the production will not be everyone’s cup of Christmas tea. These festive moments and music will certainly provoke that kick of sardonic laughter that is Off the Wall’s signature ingredient to the Milwaukee theater scene. Off the Wall Theatre presents Dale Gutzman’s Holiday Punch Green through December 31. For information call 414-327-2552.
Dec 22nd, 2008 by Peggy Sue Dunigan
John McGivern’s Winter Tales
By Christina Sajdak Lucchesi Actor, comedian and master storyteller John McGivern performed his much anticipated one-man show, Winter Tales (presented by Next Act Theatre) to a sold-out house this past Thursday. At oncehilarious and heartwarming, the production delivers on all counts as it invites us to gaze into McGivern’s personal scrapbook of holiday memories from the legendary duplex on Bartlett Avenue. Comics have always found fodder for jokes in marriage, family and memories of growing up and John McGivern is no exception. What makes his comic style unique, however, is his tremendous warmth, sincerity and candor. These qualities and his remarkable talent for storytelling have won him a legion of fans who return to his shows again and again with newcomers quick to join the ranks. In Winter Tales, McGivern relates his childhood experiences with an exuberance and gregariousness that reaches out and leaves one with the feeling of having been there. As each colorful anecdote and pithy profile brings another relative to life, one cannot help but recognize a crazy aunt, dashing uncle or doting grandmother of one’s own in these people. The set functions as a time machine – a stack of LPs resting against a fireplace; six ashtrays scattered across a table amid the cocktails, the good china and the Thanksgiving turkey. As McGivern tells of praying for snow days at the sight of the first snowflake, of careening down hills on slippery silver saucers, and “grown up” parties in the rec room downstairs, it makes one think. Did everybody do this? Together we laugh at the things we find we had in common, both good and bad, and never knew we did. And laughter is cheaper than therapy. The audience’s proximity to the stage in this production is a boon. The intimacy of this marvelous 99-seat theater is the perfect setting for McGivern. The actor has no reservations about breaking the fourth wall and engages with audience members when the spirit moves him. Such being the case, there is no hard line drawn between actor and audience, house and stage. All are one and all are gathered together to reminisce. Leaving no one out, McGivern interacts with his audience like he’s hosting a party for them, making eye contact with each audience member as if he or she were the only one in the room. It’s no wonder people leave with smiles on their faces ready to face the cold again with very warm hearts. Winter Tales runs through January 4 in the Off Broadway Theater. 414-278-0765 or nextact.org.
Dec 22nd, 2008 by Vital Archives
Michael Pink’s The Nutcracker
What a night for the Tannenbaum children! The toymaker Drosselmeyer fashions not only toys, but also an evening of magic for Marie, Fritz, and Clara (and the audience) in the Milwaukee Ballet’s presentation of Michael Pink’s The Nutcracker. This Milwaukee holiday tradition opened December 12 at the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts. Pink’s version differs from the classic E.T.A. Hoffman book that was translated into a full-length ballet through the incomparable music of Tchaikovsky’s enduring score. In Pink’s retelling, Clara still receives the present of a nutcracker on Christmas Eve, but she becomes only one-third of the trio who travel to the Land of Sweets. Marie, her older sister, and Fritz, her rambunctious brother, accompany her on this surreal journey where “The Nutcracker” transforms into Drosselmeyer’s nephew, Karl. Karl falls in love with Marie as the story unfolds while a humorous sibling rivalry flares up between Fritz and Clara. The romantic story of Clara and her nutcracker prince has been transferred to Marie and Karl, including the pas de deux in the closing minutes. Throughout this family-themed evening, Drosselmeyer liberally sprinkles his silver fairy dust over the show, and the evening’s confections abound with lavish sets, glittering costumes and lively dances that stir the audience with visual delight including the charming Tannenbaum home where the Christmas Tree mysteriously grows and the Mouse King arrives for the midnight battle in the first act. To end this entrancing act, the final scene features the Snow Queen, the delicate Jeanette Marie Hanley, stepping through the frosty blue and white costumed ensemble while snow falls like shimmering powder sugar on the stage. With a sense of seasonal wonder, the Queen’s tutu and the snowflake’s gowns glisten through the entire sequence. When the second act opens, Karl and the Tannenbaum children arrive in the Land of Sweets to a carousel of ethnic dancers riding atop their corresponding animals. From then on the ballet dancing entertains Fritz and Marie, along with the theater, although the intricate technical ability of the choreography gives way to allow for more children from the Milwaukee Ballet School to appear in the production. This is incidental unless an original production of The Nutcracker lingers in memory. Incorporating more children into the ballet cast adds a unique element and focuses on these fanciful moments so important to holiday traditions and creates abundant sugar plum dreams for all that attend. Luz San Miguel (Clara) and Tatiana Jouravel (Marie) add lovely touches to the Tannenbaum sisters, their fondness apparent through this story line while Ryan Martin (Drosselmeyer) dusts the night with his own ballet magic. Add in David Gill’s spectacular lighting effects while Pasquale Laurino guest conducts Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra members and The Milwaukee Ballet concludes in perfecting this holiday night of The Nutcracker. Both the young and the young at heart will leave the theater wishing Drosselmeyer might appear one December evening with this enchanting magic at their own front doors. VS The Milwaukee Ballet presents Michael Pink’s The Nutcracker at the […]
Dec 17th, 2008 by Peggy Sue Dunigan
A Christmas Carol
By Christina Sajdak Lucchesi Once again, the Milwaukee Repertory Theater served up a heaping helping of holiday cheer with its annual production of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and a lovelier, more penetrating version of this story one would be hard-pressed to find. In no other adaptation does the marriage of music, dance, movement and wordscome together so fluidly to convey the audience to the depths and heights intended throughout the tale. The creative team comprised of Joseph Hanreddy (Milwaukee Repertory Theater Artistic Director) and Edward Morgan, director Judy Berdan, choreographers Cate Deicher and Ed Burgess, and music director Randal Swiggum have collaborated on a masterpiece of multi-dimensional storytelling to touch an audience on many planes. Scenic designer Marjorie Bradley Kellogg, lighting designer Nancy Schertler and costume designer Martha Hally have combined to create visual landscapes that carry the story as if on wings. The beloved tale of charity and redemption traces the transformation of a miserly man as he is forced to view his life in retrospect. Remorse begins to soften the calloused heart, but true repentance comes only upon his witnessing the shadows of things yet to be. Awakened from his physical sleep by the Ghost of Christmas Past he is at last awakened from his spiritual sleep by the Ghost of Christmas Future and vows to become a new man. James Pickering’s reprisal of the role of Ebenezer Scrooge is both delightful and heartfelt. Portraying Scrooge with a vulnerability and emotional transparency from the outset is no small task but necessary if the audience is ever to embrace this cold curmudgeon. Torrey Hanson’s Bob Cratchit is the personification of patience and the steady, understanding counterpoint to his employer’s intolerance. Laura Gordon, in her role as Mrs. Cratchit, is the glass through which we view the timeless conflict between soul and spirit. Ms. Gordon brings this contest to the fore in her character’s struggle to exercise her Christian values toward a man who is a constant reminder of her family’s less than fortunate circumstances. As she negotiates between the pull of human emotion and her spiritual aspirations she ultimately chooses the high road in keeping with Dickens’ ongoing theme of forgiveness and spiritual growth. Adding levity to the production is the engaging Michael Herold as Mr. Topper. The splash of spirits in the holiday punch, he brings an effervescence and vivacity to his role drawing laughter from the audience with ease. Jonathan Smoots plays the gregarious Mr. Fezziwig to perfection, the embodiment of generosity and good will in this tale. Jenny Wanasek as both Mrs. Dilber and Mrs. Fezziwig displays her versatility with comedy as she moves deftly from the wry sarcasm of Scrooge’s housekeeper to the giddy glee of Mr. Fezziwig’s better half. Not to be omitted from comment is the cast of child actors who assume several of the major roles and comprise the children’s ensemble. Children’s director, Shawn Gulyas is to be commended for the quality of their performance which is on a par […]
Dec 16th, 2008 by Vital Archives
The HOLLASKATE bout
The derby was fast and furious on this frigid December night. I was joined by the Vital Source magazine crew as we filmed our first VS Derby vodcast. We had a blast talking to some skaters and got some great footage. What a night! NINJAS STRIKE IN SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME DEFEAT! CRAZY 8’S, 75 win over RUSHIN ROLLETTES, 72 It was an incredible match! Everyone was on the edge of their seats as this tie game went into a sudden death overtime jam, with the 8’s winning by a mere three points. What made this win even more compelling was that the 8’s were down to just 11 skaters, while the Rollettes were rolling with 18. And talk about high rollers- howsabouts Crazy 8’s Captain Cookie Ciano, who was high scorer for the second bout in a row with 47 big points! The game was neck and neck throughout, ending with a 69-69 tie when the clock ran out. I asked Rollettes jammer High D. Voltage to talk about her personal highlights of the game. “That would have to be the tough defensive walls that the Rollettes put up in order for me to get through. A jammer is only as good as her defense, which makes it much easier to skate through the pack. That’s what made it possible for me to get those two grand slams in the second period, thus taking the lead for a short time. The tempo of the game was also very exciting, and being able to be a part of the first overtime in Bruiser history. Of course, I wish that I came up on the winning end but being able to hold my own against Cookie, who is a machine or at a minimum … not human, makes me feel pretty good. Her focus and tenacity is the core of their team.” Voltage said. Voltage led the Rollettes with 28 points, followed by Smirk Savage with 17 and Jackie O’Nihilate with 15. Reina Pain also scored 4 points, though she appeared to suffer from an injury early in the second half. I asked her what the deal was. “Yeah, I hurt my tailbone from a nasty digger I took. I’m not sure how I even did it or if someone put a block on me. I almost want to say that me being the klutz I am did it to myself! I can’t even sit down on it yet, talk about needing a chiro appointment!” I also asked what she felt the toughest part of the bout was. “I think the whole thing was intense. I think when we had to go into overtime, [that] was probably the toughest. There is always so much pressure on each team by that point because you know that’s the jam that makes it or breaks it. I thought we all played really well out there and one thing that Hacksaw said was, ‘It’s not just one girl who loses or wins a game, it’s the […]
Dec 12th, 2008 by Tea Krulos
It’s A Wonderful Life
By Christina Sajdak Lucchesi The Sunset Playhouse in Elm Grove was host to a rather sedate house Saturday night as it presented James W. Rodgers’ adaptation of the Frank Capra film It’s a Wonderful Life. Theater-goers braved the cold this opening weekend, but a story notorious for its warmth, did not, in this rendition, inspire enough to thaw out the chilly audience. The play, true to the film version in most respects, winds through the events of protagonist George Bailey’s life as they go from good to bad to worse, leading him, ultimately, to contemplate his life’s worth. Standing atop a bridge at the precipice of life and death, George encounters his guardian angel, Clarence, who, with permission from above, grants him a wish. George is given the opportunity to witness life as though he had never been born. Act One, chronicling events prior to George’s wish is solid, well-developed and builds to a dramatic climax nicely. The events, post-angelic encounter, are by contrast, hurried and the pacing forced. Without allotting the time necessary for the development of this important aspect of the story the audience never quite identifies with the desperation and anguish felt by George as he encounters loved ones who no longer recognize him and whose lives, without his influence, have gone awry. The emotional connection with the hero at this important stage of the play, the identification with his grief and regret, is vital if we are to experience along with him the enormous relief and joy by play’s end. Instead, this production wraps up all too quickly without the catharsis and emotional punch audiences have come to expect. The production, in keeping with the tenor of the film, sets the story in the 1940s, with costumes and set pieces well-chosen and appropriate to the era. Unfortunately, the multi-functional backdrop, modern in concept, sacrifices authenticity for convenience and tends to distract from the overall visual theme. Although some of the smaller roles were portrayed with reservation and in some cases self-consciousness, the leads and the actors in several secondary roles were spectacular. Ryan Spiering, portrayed the young, wide-eyed George Bailey and his older, beleaguered counterpart to perfection evoking compassion with every gesture, word and expression. Eamonn O’Neill’s interpretation of Mr. Potter, hard-hearted town villain, was impeccable. Charles Hanel as Clarence Oddbody was charming and cherubic. Scott Allen with very little stage time brought Mr. Gower to the fore with the depth and thoughtfulness of his performance. Kara Roeming in her deft portrayal of Mary Bailey exuded the character’s quiet strength, selflessness and irrepressible good cheer in the face of difficulty. She is entirely believable as the instrument that ultimately elicits these traits from the citizens of an entire town. In Howard Bashinski’s Director’s Notes audiences are reminded of the importance of family and community and the virtue of charity so abundantly demonstrated in this story. What better time to re-instill in our lives these bedrock social principles and what better inspiration for doing so than the timeless story […]
Dec 9th, 2008 by Vital Archives
The Show
Reminding Milwaukee once again that the “Yuletide has a dark side,” In Tandem Theatre Company reintroduces parodies and sketch comedy in The Show. The fourteen sketches, written and performed by local actors Karen Estrada, Matthew Huebsch, Doug Jarecki, Andrea Moser and Jason Powell, combine new and old material that provide a counterpoint to the sentimental overload during of the holiday season. This two-hour production would make any Christmas Scrooge grin and these performers bring an inventive sense of comic timing to the stage. The Show is full of intelligent, witty and hilarious dialogue and lyrics, which are recommended for those over the age of thirteen. The entire evening evokes the retro feel of a 70s television variety program with contemporary updates. Each sketch showcases these talented actors. A favoritepresentation could only be chosen with considerable difficulty because the cast works together through each number as a team, interchanging roles and costumes flawlessly. Several highlights include “Past, Present, and Future Tense” which portrays the ghosts of Dickens’s A Christmas Carol ruminating on helping Ebenezer. Also excellent is the musical rendition of “Beer Goggles” that recalls the impaired judgment of a New Year’s Eve party in which an inebriated couple recites a love song to one another. You can also watch Mary and Joseph struggle through “Couple’s Therapy” which provides a bit of human insight to the marriage consummated after the immaculate conception of Jesus. The finale, “Wrap It Up,” concludes the evening on a high note of rhyme with St. Nick rapping together with his back-up dancing elves. The only concern for this delightfully irreverent show became the performer’s attire. Throughout the evening, especially when out of the minimal costumes, their appearance might have been a bit more formal, all black or elegantly casual. This could have heightened the parody while creating a wonderful complement to the sparse stage adding an element of holiday pizzazz. Kudos to In Tandem and these five performers who provide an alternative to overdosing on sugary themes with satiric spice. Honoring the tradition of sketch comedy The Show will enlighten any December weekend with comical, but slightly deviant seasonal cheer. VS In Tandem Theatre Company presents The Show at the Tenth Street Theatre through December 20. For tickets: 414-271-1371.
Dec 8th, 2008 by Peggy Sue Dunigan
The Producers
Broadway comes to Milwaukee, and not in the usual sense of a touring production. No, in this instance, the Skylight Opera Theater has acquired the rights to produce Mel Brooks’ The Producers, and they are the first regional theater in the country to do so. If you think that a full-on Broadway musical would be out of reach for a regional theater, you’d be dead wrong. The Skylight does a wonderful job bringing Brooks’ zany romp to the Milwaukee stage. Molly Rhode, Bill Theisen and Brian Vaughn. Photo by Rob Wagner. Max Bialystock, a washed up Broadway producer, and Leo Bloom, a neurotic, unhappy public accountant, hatch an ingenious plan: they collect $2 million dollars to finance a production, then pick the worst script they can find and hire the worst director in New York. The idea is to spend as little as possible on the show, then have it be so bad that it closes in one night and the producers can pocket the difference. The IRS won’t care about money spent on a flop, and no one will come investigating. But wouldn’t you know- the show turns out to be a hit, leaving Max and Leo scrambling to stay out of jail. In case you haven’t seen any of the various versions of the story out there in the world, the musical they pick to produce is called Springtime for Hitler and it includes some choice irreverence. The cast further incorporates a Swedish bombshell named Ulla, whose grasp of English is shaky at best; a former Nazi (the writer of Springtime for Hitler) named Franz; the flamboyantly gay director Roger DiBris and his “common-law assistant” Carmen Guia; and an ensemble that plays a variety of roles as well as the chorus. Jonathan West, Bill Theisen, and Brian Vaughn. Photo by Rob Wagner. All the performers are spectacular. Bill Theisen as Bialystock is deliciously slimy, and Brian Vaughn as Bloom is adorably nervous about everything. Molly Rhode as Ulla is hilarious as the knock-out exhibitionist (her solo song is titled “If You Got It, Flaunt It”). Ray Jivoff and Jonathan West deliver unbelievably amusing caricatures of a gay couple in the Broadway business. Perhaps the highest accolades should go to the terrific ensemble cast, who plays all the bit parts, the chorus, and serves as the stage crew throughout the show. One can’t imagine the number of quick costume changes and breathless entries that must have been rehearsed to allow fourteen ensemble members to accomplish all that. The sets were all constructed in the Skylight Scene Shop using materials almost exclusively recycled from previous productions. Because the ensemble serves as the stage crew, elaborate staging is absent, but scenic designer Brandon Ribardy does an excellent job creating spaces with minimal pieces. This also leaves the stage uncluttered for the many dance numbers that populate the show. The dancing may be the one weakness in the whole production; in the tap numbers, the dancers are often out of sync with […]
Dec 2nd, 2008 by Ryan Findley
New Year’s Day Hangover Remedies
By Bridget Brave, Tom Ganos, Ryan Findley, Noah Therrien and Amy Elliott This month in Eat This we featured a fresh, frilly New Year’s Eve menu from Dan Smith at McCormick’s and Schmick, perfect for entertaining and celebrating in style. But what do you eat on the morning (or more likely, afternoon) after? I asked VITAL Source Staffers, all of whom have plenty of experience, believe you me, with the dread Next Day. From easy microwave bacon to Nyquil and macaroni to what we have found to be the best Bloody in town (there is really nowhere I’d rather be on my worst mornings than Tom’s bar … or couch), we’ve got you covered. Be careful, have fun and feel better. – Amy Elliott Simple breakfast from Ryan Findley You’ll need … Frozen hashbrowns Cooking oil of your choice Bacon from the microwave Grapefruit juice from concentrate Bad movies, cartoons or TV shows on DVD 1. Start the hashbrowns. I like Ore-Ida, they’ve already got some seasoning on them, but not too much. Potatoes are starchy and filling and will soak up any leftover alcohol in your stomach while making you feel better. Heat oil in a skillet (you’ll need about a tablespoon – enough to fully coat the bottom of the pan). Dump the frozen potato pieces of goodness in and spread them out to a single layer. Leave them alone for at least 5 minutes, or until you start to see crunchy brown bits on the edges. 2. While the hashbrowns cook on the first side, make the grapefruit juice. I prefer grapefruit to orange because of the tartness – too much sugar will excerbate a hangover. Real grapefruit juice (and by that I mean the yellowy stuff, none of that Ruby Red) settles the stomach. I recommend Minute Maid frozen. Follow the directions on the can to prepare; all you’ll need is a pitcher and water, and a spoon to mix with. 3. Sprinkle the hashbrowns with salt and pepper and then flip them over. Again, leave them alone for at least 5 minutes, or until the crunchy brown bits are easily apparent at the edges. 4. While the hashbrowns cook on the other side, microwave some bacon. Mostly because bacon is delicious, not for any medicinal purposes. If you have a microwave bacon cooker (a plastic tray with ridges to catch the grease and trap it away from the bacon while it cooks), use it. If not, a microwave-safe plate lined with paper towels will do. Start with two minutes on full power, and check the doneness. Continue cooking in 30-second increments until the desired degree of crunchiness is achieved. 5. Transfer bacon to a plate, add the hashbrowns alongside when they’ve finished cooking, and pour yourself a nice tall glass of grapefruit juice. Sit in front of the television and watch bad movies at low volume while you eat. Bridget’s Easy as Shit Slow-Cooked Italian Beef From Bridget Brave The beauty of this is that […]
Dec 2nd, 2008 by Vital Archives
Remembering Republicans (if you must)
2008 will be remembered for many things: the nationwide financial crisis, skyrocketing gas prices, the rebooting of Beverly Hills 90210. But most of all, it will be forever remembered as the year Republicans – those strange, awful creatures who specialize in helping those who can already help themselves – had their collective asses handed to them in November. (Yeah, I know, the last thing any of us want to think about again is the election, but come on: doesn’t it feel good?) Republicans are an odd bunch, known to cheat their way into power and spend the ensuing eight years pissing and moaning about the mean ol’ liberal media and the naughty-waughty New York Times. When not rooting around in garbage cans like the feral raccoons they sometimes resemble, Republicans tend to hole up in soul-sucking suburbs while quietly contributing to the continued careers of Lee Greenwood and Sunday Night Football’s Al Michaels. They can assume almost any form: parents, teachers, and perhaps most insidiously of all, Facebook friends, where they typically pose as cute theater girls you had a crush on in high school while you were playing the part of Percy in The Miracle Worker (it’s funny because it’s true). Republicans are bad losers, worse winners, and only slightly less insufferable than their close cousins, Libertarians. In the wake of our historic recent election – and before the few remaining GOP-ers are shipped off and put into cold storage (that’s what happens after these things, right?) – I thought it might be useful to look back on these endangered, obsolete hate-mongers and offer up short profiles detailing who they were before they were silenced forever. (I mean, it’s not as if an Obama presidency will actually embolden these yahoos, right? Right?) In the interest of brevity, I’ve whittled the field down to two local douchebags: WTMJ “personality” Charlie Sykes, and Journal Sentinel columnist Patrick McIlheran. Charlie Sykes Everyone knows Charlie Sykes is the devil incarnate. Hell, even Sykes himself must suspect something’s up. The proof is indisputable: he has a top-rated radio program in which he parrots back the most inane right-wing talking points; he hosts an equally evil and insipid television show every Sunday night; he lives in Mequon. Case closed. Sykes is your typical conservative blowhard who likes sticking it to the usual suspects: gays, women, Mexicans, college graduates. He’s also the author of a slew of crappy books. In his 2007 crime against humanity, 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School, Sykes (who pulls a Ricky/Rick Schroder and goes by Charles Sykes) spends 192 interminable pages passing off generic “Cut your hair, get a job and get off my lawn!” turds as good ol’ common sense that those pole-smoking liberals won’t teach ya’ in those fancy special needs schools. Take this chestnut, for example: “The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.” Damn straight Charlie – er, […]
Dec 1st, 2008 by Matt Wild
Various artists
A few years ago, after attending a Christmas-charity show featuring several metal-styled acts, I posited a reasonable question: are rock ‘n’ roll and Yuletide cheer compatible? After all, this is the season of comfortable sweaters, chestnut visions, and a jolly old fat man who apparently helps remind us of the birth of Jesus Christ — none of which is exactly “metal.” Nevertheless, We Wish You a Metal Xmas attempts to introduce crunchy riffs, elaborate solos and headbanging tempos to the festivities. The success of the introduction is debatable, but there’s no doubt that it’s sort of fun, and most of the time it’s definitely funny. For example, a version of “Run Rudolph Run” features ZZ Top’s Billy F. Gibbons, Nirvana/Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl, and Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister — the latter of whom navigates the lyrics with his usual death’s-door wheeze. And Ronnie James Dio rolls through “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” as though he’s grandly shoveling dirt on the gentlemen’s graves. Some of the other tracks would count as sacrilege if we hadn’t all heard most of these songs until we’re well sick of them. Testament lead singer Chuck Billy vomits all over “Silent Night,” while Alice Cooper naturally finds the perverse breaking-and-entering side of “Santa Claws [sic] Is Coming to Town.” Yet even metalheads get all sentimental this time of year, something admitted here with the final track, in which Styx lynchpin Tommy Shaw gives all due respect to John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over).” This is only right and proper — and thus not very metal, so the answer to my question is a resounding No.
Dec 1st, 2008 by Jon Gilbertson
