The HOLLASKATE bout

The derby was fast and furious on this frigid December night. I was joined by the Vital Source magazine crew as we filmed our first VS Derby vodcast. We had a blast talking to some skaters and got some great footage. What a night!

NINJAS STRIKE IN SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME DEFEAT!

CRAZY 8’S, 75 win over RUSHIN ROLLETTES, 72

It was an incredible match! Everyone was on the edge of their seats as this tie game went into a sudden death overtime jam, with the 8’s winning by a mere three points. What made this win even more compelling was that the 8’s were down to just 11 skaters, while the Rollettes were rolling with 18.

And talk about high rollers- howsabouts Crazy 8’s Captain Cookie Ciano, who was high scorer for the second bout in a row with 47 big points! The game was neck and neck throughout, ending with a 69-69 tie when the clock ran out. I asked Rollettes jammer High D. Voltage to talk about her personal highlights of the game.

“That would have to be the tough defensive walls that the Rollettes put up in order for me to get through. A jammer is only as good as her defense, which makes it much easier to skate through the pack. That’s what made it possible for me to get those two grand slams in the second period, thus taking the lead for a short time. The tempo of the game was also very exciting, and being able to be a part of the first overtime in Bruiser history. Of course, I wish that I came up on the winning end but being able to hold my own against Cookie, who is a machine or at a minimum … not human, makes me feel pretty good. Her focus and tenacity is the core of their team.” Voltage said.

Voltage led the Rollettes with 28 points, followed by Smirk Savage with 17 and Jackie O’Nihilate with 15. Reina Pain also scored 4 points, though she appeared to suffer from an injury early in the second half. I asked her what the deal was.

“Yeah, I hurt my tailbone from a nasty digger I took. I’m not sure how I even did it or if someone put a block on me. I almost want to say that me being the klutz I am did it to myself! I can’t even sit down on it yet, talk about needing a chiro appointment!”

I also asked what she felt the toughest part of the bout was. “I think the whole thing was intense. I think when we had to go into overtime, [that] was probably the toughest. There is always so much pressure on each team by that point because you know that’s the jam that makes it or breaks it. I thought we all played really well out there and one thing that Hacksaw said was, ‘It’s not just one girl who loses or wins a game, it’s the entire team.’ That is so true, we’re a family, and whatever the outcome, we got there together.” Pain stated.

I also had a chance to speak with Crazy 8’s jammer Termiskater. I asked her what the most exciting and challenging moments of the night were, and she confirmed the idea that the 8’s might be more machine than human.

“The most exciting moment of Saturday night was when I gave Abba Zabba such a major whip that she ripped the living tissue off of a few of my fingers and exposed my cybernetic metal endoskeleton. The most challenging part was attempting to identify the T1000. It has taken the form of a Rushin’ Rollette. Identification remains unknown.” Termiskater said.

HALF TIME REPORT

Our gals the Beerleaders did a routine to Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” complete with a rapping Santa Claus. For this column’s Half Time Report, I thought I’d get a few words from referee Sloppy Joe about game highlights.

“The tiebreaker is obviously a big one for me since they are so rare. I’m glad I got to be a part of that experience. Also, the sheer number of penalties in the first period of the 8s vs. Rollettes bout stands out. The pack was so aggressive I was having a hard time finding a moment to call in my penalties to the stats trackers. Overall I felt that the 8s vs. Rollettes bout was a really a great sign for the progress that our league has made. The technical proficiency and at times incredible pack speed on display is a great sign of things to come. It’s a good time to be a Roller Derby fan,” Joe told me.

WORKING CLASS HEROES WIN BIG!

MAIDEN MILWAUKEE, 78 win over SHEVIL KNEVILS, 64

Overshadowed by the overtime nail biter, but still playing a good match, the Maidens see-sawed with the Knevils. At the half, the Maidens were up by just one point, but they quickly sped ahead in the second half.

The Knevils couldn’t keep up despite consistent effort from The Eviscerator and Trash Talkin Tina, both with 16 points and Moby Nipps and Femaldehyde, both with 15 points.

The question for the Maidens is can they now use the momentum to overthrow the undefeated 8’s? Captain Beelzebelle has some confident words.

“We’re going to bring our unparalleled working class drive AND super secret strategery on January 17. The 8’s have not yet encountered this type of force in their whole existence. They may be ninjas, but we’re a bunch of tough Milwaukee-bred broads. Bring it!” Beezlebelle threatened. Scoring high for the Maidens were Romaniac with 36 points and Rejected Seoul with 22. I also asked Seoul about the next bout. Seoul has given us  some poetic quotes in the past, and this time was no exception.

“Those crazy 8s will be hard to beat look’n all fine and dressed to the 9, but I feel strong that our ladies in pink will skate with heart and Seoul on the rink,” she recited.

AMBULANCE CHASER

Rushin Rollette co-Captain Fidela Castrate fell and the arena grew silent. The skaters waited on their knees as a show of respect as the EMTs checked her out. I later asked her about the injury.

“All I remember is hearing my right knee pop, and then I fell down with pain. After that I was able to walk so I put back on my skates, then my knee gave out. In the ER they really didn’t have any concrete to say without an MRI, so the doc said it could be a strain or a partial tear of a ligament. I am determined to play the January bout against the Shevils and kick ass! At least I was able to get a good hit on their jammer before I went down!” Castrate told me. Now that’s some team spirit!

The next bout is January 17, where the Rushin Rollettes (1-1) will take on the Shevil Knevils (0-2) and Maiden Milwaukee (1-1) will battle the Crazy 8’s (2-0).