Off limits
This week's letter to Ken declares several of the most overused and underwhelming jokes about Brewers players off limits.
Apr 26th, 2010
Same as it ever was
Two weeks into the season and the Brewers are already giving fans a serious case of heartburn. Is 2010 shaping up to be a lot like 2009?
Apr 19th, 2010
Bay View responds to Alterra’s proposal
Despite what you've heard, Bay View residents are ready to welcome Alterra to the neighborhood.
Apr 13th, 2010
Strange Brew
This week's letter to Ken recounts the Brewers' opening week weirdness on and off the field and explains why Prince Fielder absolutely, positively needs to be re-signed.
Apr 12th, 2010
162 reasons
Dear Ken Macha returns with a preview of the 2010 Milwaukee Brewers.
Apr 5th, 2010
GridIron Greats visit Milwaukee for a good cause
The GridIron Greats Assistance Fund hosts a dinner to bring attention to the plight of retired football players.
Nov 9th, 2009
2009 Ken-trospective (77-79)
We bid adieu to Ken Macha and the Brewers with our 2009 Ken-trospective.
Sep 28th, 2009
Modus Operandi
Frankie Latina's directorial debut transforms what could have been an uninspiring, low-budget action flick into one with high-art polish.
Sep 25th, 2009
Checkin’ Out The Rivalry (74-75)
As the Brewers begin the final series against the Chicago Cubs this season, it's time to finally admit that it's not a real rivalry.
Sep 21st, 2009
Where Do We Go Now? (69-73)
The Brewers' struggles have put Ken on the managerial hot seat. But if Ken goes, who'll take his place? This week's letter to Ken provides a few educated guesses.
Sep 14th, 2009
Winding It Down Right (66-70)
The Brewers' postseason chances are all but nil, yet there's still heart to this team and a reason to stay interested if you care about next season.
Sep 6th, 2009
Down To The Wire (64-66)
The Brewers' recent winning streak is casting doubt on the early naysayers' street cred, and providing a small glimmer of hope for now.
Aug 31st, 2009
Detroit Lions 2009 Season Preview
Where does a team go after an 0-16 season? Up? Sideways? Divisionaries previews the 2009 Detroit Lions.
Aug 25th, 2009
Eulogy For Bill Hall (60-63)
This week's letter to Ken reflects upon Bill Hall's career (RIP).
Aug 23rd, 2009
Favre From Gone
Brett Favre broke our hearts one last time, but in doing so he's helped vanquish his lingering mythology among the Packer faithful -- and that's a good thing.
Aug 19th, 2009
Hold Your Head Up (58-59)
Has the recent dismantling of the Brewer's roster been a blessing or a curse for Ken? This week's letter focuses on all of the changes, both good and bad, in Ken's life over the past week.
Aug 17th, 2009
Missed Connections (55-56)
From Prince Fielder and Guillermo Mota's bizarre non-meeting to over-the-top calls for firing reporters, lately there's been an awful lot of missed connections involving the Brewers.
Aug 10th, 2009
County Stadium
Memories of County Stadium: Paul Molitor seat cushions, the Don Mattingly Official Toilet and Cecil Fielder's out-of-the-park home run.
Aug 7th, 2009
True Stories (52-53)
When there's no good news to write, Ken, sometimes you've got to make it up.
Aug 3rd, 2009
A Bitter Pill To Swallow (49-49)
You may not want to hear it, Ken, but it's time to temper fans' trade expectations. And maybe your playoff chances.
Jul 26th, 2009
Restless Trade Syndrome (47-45)
There's more trading-deadline hysteria as the Brewers finally make a move. Plus, Prince Fielder shows his true colors and Frank Catalanotto's battle for the rights to an ironically bad 80's song.
Jul 19th, 2009
It’s All Downhill From Here (45-43)
As we cross the official mid-point of the season, let's stop and congratulate a few of the most-deserving Brewers from the first half of the season. Join me, Ken, in the first-and-potentially-last-ever presentation of the Dear Ken Macha Mid Season Awards.
Jul 12th, 2009
Respect Your Elder
Writers and sports radio hosts spend so much time speculating on who the Brewers should trade for, who should be benched and who isn't performing right. Yet when their opinions are confirmed in a moment of extreme candor it's such a shock to their sensibilities that it suddenly becomes more than a statement of truth -- it becomes a flagrant act of disrespecting your elders. The media-created outcry over the comments even prompted your boss, Doug Melvin, into the fray, which only fueled the fire. Yet, surprisingly, his comments, which actually could be taken as disrespectful and patronizing (“I’ll be glad to have Ryan help if he wants to. I’ll give him a badge and he can be my deputy.") were accepted without sparking another round of the bogus flamewar.
Jul 8th, 2009
Bummerfest! (40-35)
The slightly greasy aroma of fried foods; the muffled rumble of motorcycles and fireworks echoing in the night; the same interchangeable headliners year after year. Do you know what all this means? It's Summerfest, Ken -- can you feel the excitement? You may not realize it, Ken, but the musical acts at Summerfest have a lot in common with your players. Let's examine a few of those happy and not-so-happy similarities...
Jun 29th, 2009
Help Wanted (37-32)
Even with our very own C+C Hit Factory -- Counsell and Casey McGehee -- continuing their gritty ways, the lack of production from the lower half of the order has put you in a pickle, Ken. Do you look to add another bat to the lineup or do you focus on quality starting pitching, hoping it provides just enough momentum to propel the Brewers into the playoffs? In order to help you help us, Ken, I've compiled a quick summary of the potential players Doug Melvin refuses to acknowledge the Brewers are considering.
Jun 21st, 2009
Little Chicago (34-29)
As more than half of the Sunday crowd stood up and cheered for Mark Buerhle after he hit his first home run since high school, I saw the cliche'd writing on the wall: Milwaukee is destined to become a defacto territory of Chicago. It's really not that bad, Ken. Yes, it's going to take some adjustment, but why fight that which we cannot control.
Jun 14th, 2009
Greater Expectations (33-24)
Standing just a few games past the one-third mark of the season, weeks like the past one that will begin to frustrate fans exponentially more as the calendar turns toward September. No matter how common they are during the season, they're the equivalent of abandoned swimming pools for mosquitos, breeding nothing but rampant speculation and trade rumors.
Jun 9th, 2009
Red, Red Whine (30-20)
Certain rivals have been whining an awfully lot lately about the Brewer's winning ways. This week's letter to Ken Macha congratulates him on his managerial acumen in getting under other team's skins and for helping fans save money when getting girl drink drunk.
Jun 1st, 2009
When It Rains, It Pours (27-18)
Dear Ken Macha, Since I last wrote to you, Ken, there’s been a bit of a cloud hanging over the team. First, Rickie Weeks’ wrist injury sidelined our perpetually on the brink — and finally turning the corner — second basemen for the rest of the season, dealing a significant blow to our offense. Then, J.J. Hardy became a prime candidate for a backiotomy. All of a sudden, the marginal reserve players that you thought would be sharing the bench with you all summer long are actually needed in the field, leaving you all alone with Willie Randolph and your handy Palm Pilot 1000. To top it all off, Doug Melvin traded away our beloved Tony Gwynn, Jr. for an outfielder named Jody. It was unfortunate that this wave of injuries occured during a particularly rough road trip through St. Louis, Houston and Minnesota. What started out so promising in St. Louis slowly devolved into an exercise of extreme torment in the TerrorMetrodome. If it’s any consolation, Ken, the Twins scored 20 runs against the White Sox the day before the Crew served up 11 to them. Considering Twins’ phenom Joe Mauer is making Ryan Braun’s hot streak from a few weeks ago look mediocre in comparison, holding them to 6 runs the next two games surely was a moral victory if there ever was one. Nonetheless, you were swept in particularly ugly fashion. Fortunately, the week that was did provide a few rays of sunshine. Mat Gamel was recently called up from Nashville and in his first start provided an impressive 3-run home run and made an amazing play at third. Sure, he followed up that play by making an error on a more routine ground ball, living up to his legend as the second coming of Ryan Braun. Even though he cooled off a bit during the Twins series, his presence on the team gives the Miller Park sound crew a reason to play “Camel Walk” every time he walks. In fact, there hasn’t been a more appropriately related song for a player since the little known “Rixey Jig,” named for Cincinnati Red’s pitcher Eppa Rixey’s provocative (for the 1920’s) strikeout dance*. Yovanni Gallardo also provided a ray of sunshine for your already nicely tanned face. After a very un-Yovanni like outing in Houston, Gallardo once again looked sharp in a Memorial Day pitcher’s duel against the Cardinals, leading to this letter’s deep thought (Ken, imagine The Wonder Years’ Daniel Stern is reading the following): Perhaps the most concerning aspect of the recent losing streak was the poor performance of our usually potent pitchers. Two thirds (10) of the team’s victories (15) in May have been in games where our pitching allowed 3 runs or fewer. This takes pressure off the offense, which tends to push too hard when it’s behind early in games. While it’s unreasonable to assume we’re always going to get a quality start from our starting pitchers, it’s important to realize how beneficial our pitching […]
May 25th, 2009
Ransom! (23-14)
Superb job, Ken! The number of losses in the subject line of this letter hasn't changed from 14 all week. That's quite the impressive fact considering the Pirates were the only team you'd swept until the Marlins came to town.
May 18th, 2009
Save Us From Favre! (18-14)
No, the other Favre… Dear Ken Macha, Another series, Ken, and another victory — against the Cubs, no less. The bullpen shut down hitters when it mattered most and the offense perpetrated the most heinous form of mockery in modern baseball: the Craig Counsell homerun. It’s starting to look like the beginning of the season was just a terrible, late night cheddarwurst induced nightmare. But don’t put those TUMS away just yet, Ken. There’s something far worse than a Ryan Braun brushback pitch to the helmet coming your way. Brett Favre! You’re new around these parts, Ken, so you may not have heard about the yearly local news orgy that is “Favre Watch! 200_.” You have been hiding in the bathroom a lot since Trevor Hoffman rejoined the team. See, what happens is every year we spend way too much time worrying about whether or not Brett Favre is going to play football. Sound silly? Well, it is! But that’s what we do around here — cling to our past moments of greatness, never letting them go until each of our fingers have been individually pried away during the Sturm und Drang of recognizing that we can’t be what we were. Favre is just the largest manifestation of this feeling ever felt by the state’s baby boomers. In terms you might understand, it’s kind of like when in 2005 your contract with the Oakland A’s ended and GM Billy Beane didn’t resign you, but then six days later you were rehired. Now imagine that scenario happened annually for eight years! Why does this matter to you, Ken? Because if it happens again, and it looks like it might, you’re going to be competing for precious fan attention with The Gunslinger. If the Crew starts an ill-timed losing streak during the upcoming week and Favre Watch! continues unabated, you should be prepared to suffer with this monotonous non-story for the rest of the summer, leeching the media attention you rightfully deserve. But, if you can keep the good times rolling along up to and through the looming road trip through St. Louis, Houston and Minnesota you might be able to deprive the Favre media hydra of the attention it craves long enough to keep the focus on your well-playing team. That’ll put even more fans in the seats and a little extra scrilla in Mark Attanasio’s diamond-studded Brewers money clip. To accomplish this, you’re going to need to figure out what’s up with Jeff Suppan. Jordan at Brew Crew Ball doesn’t believe his better than expected outings as of late are a sure signal that everything’s ok. Today, it only took one bad inning to turn an acceptable outing into a loss. Suppan’s starts aren’t inconsequential and every win he earns the team will be well worth it as the pennant race starts heating up. You’re also going to have to protect Ryan Braun from sassy announcers. Ryan’s mammoth home run off on Saturday unleashed the fury of Cub’s announcer Bob Brenly, who […]
May 11th, 2009
Better Stadiums & Beer Gardens (13-12)
Dear Ken Macha, You must be feeling like a bankruptcy attorney in Detroit, Ken. Everything might not be going well around you, but somehow you’re making a killing off of it. You finished the 7-game home stand with a 5-2 record, in spite of an apparently right call on Friday and potential fisticuffs throughout the series against the Pirates. Your pitching has kept you in games, except when the bullpen surprisingly fails to hold a lead. Your offense is thriving, except that your base runners are caught stealing all the time and J.J. Hardy is describing his struggles at the plate like a bad acid trip. Nevertheless, you’ve steered the Brewers to a winning record in April. Bravo to you, Ken. Yet there are a few areas where I feel the team could benefit. If we’re going to win games, we might as well win them in style, amiright? . So here are three suggestions based on my experience at the games on Tuesday and Thursday night. Maybe you can pass them along during one of your stadium operations pow-wows. 1) Make Prince Fielder bring back “Moments In Love” as his entrance song Have you ever listened to the Quiet Storm on V100, Ken? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you haven’t, but if you’re a Brewer fan that’s not from Brookfield then you know that the intro jam to Quiet Storm used to be Prince’s entrance song. “Moments In Love” by Art of Noise was the greatest entrance song ever, until Prince had to ruin things by using that crappy THX intro or the current air raid siren (get it? he’s dropping bombs!). Don’t just trust me, Ken; take a look at Prince’s numbers and watch how they’ve plummeted since he dropped “Moments In Love.” You can even tell the Miller Park audio crew that it was your idea. 2) Make Jason Kendall use another picture for his at-bat image. Kendall really conveys his tough-as-balls demeanor via his entrance song — something by Pantera, I think, but I really couldn’t tell ya — and his entirely creepy image on the videotron. Have you looked at it, Ken? He looks like he eats babies. The Brewers are supposed to be family friendly. There’s an entire section in the upper deck where people can’t drink alcohol so kids feel safe. Well, I hope those tikes’ are kept away from the parking lots, concession stands and the scoreboard when Kendall is at bat. Maybe you could take your Minolta and surprise Jason while he’s doing something around the clubhouse that doesn’t involve being eerily focused. Even this picture would be an improvement: Found at The Jason Kendall Connection! — a preserved, 1999 Geocities fan page for Jason Kendall 3) Tweak Trevor Time Imagine you’re the scoreboard operator, Ken, and you need to really pump up fans for Trevor Hoffman’s high-leverage save situations. The audio guy has it easy — Hoffman mailed him […]
May 3rd, 2009
