“I Blew Up The United States”
It’s 30 years old but this classic by Was Not Was could have been written yesterday.
![Statue of Liberty. Photo by William Warby (originally posted to Flickr as Statue of Liberty) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons](https://urbanmilwaukee.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/1280px-Statue_of_Liberty_NY.jpg)
Statue of Liberty. Photo by William Warby (originally posted to Flickr as Statue of Liberty) (CC BY 2.0), via Wikimedia Commons
It captures the cruel glee of down-punching jokers and the paranoia of manifesto scribbling loners. It’s Randy Newman with a dance beat. Fortunately, it’s only a song and when the needle comes off at the end of it, we still have a country. Who’d want to live in that reality? Not me, but I have no choice.
They were memorable not only for the tautness of their grooves (they used members of Funkadelic), but also an off-center sense of humor. A good example of that humor is this wicked little number “I Feel Better Than James Brown,” which could have been written by Steven Wright — in fact, the singer, David Was, kind of looks like him. It’s Borscht Belt comedy set to 80’s art funk and I still laugh every time I hear the exaggerated boast in the title.
And Don Was’s real name is Don Edward Fagenson. My tin hat tells me he has a lot in common with Donald Fagen, the voice of Steely Dan. The aforementioned tight grooves and a penchant for beat poetry. What’s going on here? Are they the same person?
But back to anarchy and our topic for today, blowing up countries. Here are the lyrics:
I set charges in Maine and Florida
In Washington and California
I gave fair warning and lit the fuse
Right at the beginning of the network news
All I did was listen to the Fates
I blew up the United States
Now little bits of Texas
Are floating up in space
I blew up the United States
I put plastique in the Statue of Liberty
And my nerves got a little bit jittery
Poor little lady, there goes her head
Her arm is melting and her eyes turned red
All I did was listen to the Fates
I blew up the United States
Now little bits of Texas
Are floating up in space
I blew up the United States
It’s a free country
I’m within my rights
Every child should have a weapon
And a ton of dynamite
My hand is steady
And my eye is cold
A voice inside my head
Keeps saying “Do as you are told”
© David Was / Don Edward Fagenson
I think I know the Unibomber’s favorite song. He was probably dancing to this as he mixed ingredients in a cozy mountain lean-to.
Doesn’t it seem like comedy gets so much better when the GOP is in control? Are you, like me, now ready to stop laughing and live in a stable world? If we can wind our way through the minefield Trump’s reshaped GOP has laid out, we might be able to look back in a happy future and wonder what is was like to live in a time when laughing was necessary for survival. We’re not there yet, and the most chillingly predictive and yet funniest lines in this song describe this moment: “It’s a free country / I’m within my rights / Every child should have a weapon / And a ton of dynamite.” Like my friend Lonesome Bob once sang, “It’d be sad if it weren’t so funny, it’d be funny if it weren’t so sad.” Trude dat.