Divisionaries
Divisionaries

Chicago Bears Season Preview

By - Sep 8th, 2009 09:29 am

DIVISIONARIES HEADER FAVRE MOON

This week’s season preview comes courtesy of Brian Howe Battle, a writer in the Divisionaries’ Chicago office.

Since about 1909, Chicago sports fandom has been defined by supporting teams that continually disappoint. That’s remarkable considering Chicago’s sports franchises did fairly well in 2008 — the Cubs, Sox, Bulls and Blackhawks all made the playoffs. Despite good records, high budgets, adoring media and large-market exposure, Chicago sports teams and fans still claim perpetual “underdog” status.  This year, the Bears’ self-applied underdog tag should very quickly become “underachiever” if they fail to go deep into the post-season.

The high hopes began this summer when Bears GM Jerry Angelo nabbed the highest profile player on the market, quarterback Jay Cutler, and made all of Chicago simultaneously splooge blue and orange.  It was a weird day. The polarizing Cutler has already developed some memorable nicknames: “Sweet Jay,” “Frown Cannon, Emo-banged $%#@sucker” and Brian Urlacher’s favorite: “Pu$$y.”  The stoic/diva/diabetic hybrid Pro Bowler was a steal: Traded for just the Bears’ neckbearded QB, and some #1 draftpicks which the Bears throw away like yesterday’s David Terrell Cade McNown Cedric Benson garbage.

Will Jay Cutler be the first Bear QB on the cover of Madden since Sid Luckman?

Will Jay Cutler be the first Bear QB on the cover of Madden since Sid Luckman?

Based on the preseason (and to a larger extent, Madden 2010) it’s evident that Cutler and the Bears offense is the real deal.  The O-line is solid with veteran Orlando Pace and ’08 1st round pick Chris Williams bookending the line. The biggest question remains: Who the hell is going to catch Cutler’s scorchers? The Great Devin Hester Experiment enters Year Three, and the league knows calling someone your #1 receiver does not make him a #1 receiver. Even more unsettling is that #2 receiver, Earl Bennett, has never successfully caught a regular season pass.  Ex-Colt Devin Aromashadou and rookie Johnny Knox could step up and prove true Angelo’s statement that great QB’s make great WR’s and not the other way around.

In the meantime, Cutler has other options. Tight End duo Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark should both have good seasons, with the former already developing a strong report with Cutler. He also has a talented pass-catcher in second-year running back Matt Forte, who led the team in both rushing yards (1,238) and pass receptions (63) last year. Offensive coordinator Ron Turner finally has some weapons to use, now he just has to prove he knows what to do with them.

While the offense is young and improving, the Bears calling card — tenacious defense — is falling apart.  The once-vaunted crew ranked 30th overall with an especially atrocious pass defense.  In fact, the Bears were one defensive back away from being the NFC North division winners in 2009. They lost their first three games by less than 3 points each; games that featured a classic Jake “Drama-Machine” Delhomme freakout, a Charles Tillman penalty that should have been flagged as Completely Unnecessary Roughness and a mind-numbing coverage lapse with 6 seconds left against the Falcons. Despite a lackluster season, their playoff bid was still alive into Week 17 until the Texans’ Andre Johnson pwnd the secondary for 4 Quarters in a game that would have given them a wildcard birth.  So, obviously, the Bears went out and got themselves a shut-down cornerback and a veteran safety in the offseason.

Oh, wait.

Actually, they picked up a safety with his own lowlight reel and  Rod “0-16” Marinelli to coach the defensive line. With some Regan Era trickle-down logic, headcoach Lovie Smith explained the failure at secondary was a linebacker issue, vis-a-vis the defenstive line — ya follow that?  While Smith’s theory may prove true, their secondary is aging, their replacements are inexperienced and the whole team appears to be inspired by former Bear Mike Brown’s knack for detrimental injuries.  Defensive tackle Dusty Dvoracek was cut after his fourth season-ending injury in as many years while starting CB’s Charles Tillman and Zack Bowman are both trying to recover from injuries in time for September 13th’s primetime opener against the Packers. Pro Bowler CB Nathan Vasher barely made the team. That said, the LB corps of Urlacher, Lance Briggs and newcomer Pisa Tinoisamoa promise to be solid, and Lovie has re-committed himself to calling the Tampa 2 himself — leaving D-coordinator Bob Babich to, um… surf the web.

The family that wears outdated jerseys together, stays together.

The family that wears outdated jerseys together, stays together.

While the Bears’ other two phases have faded since their ’05 Super Bowl appearance, their special teams is at the top of the league. The unit consistently makes game-changing punt and field goal blocks.  Hester showed glimpses of his old punt return mojo in the preseason, while kick returner Daniel Manning led the league in yards-per-attempt in ’08. Kicker Robbie Gould has been good as gold (see what I did there?), while punter Brad Maynard quietly had 40 boots inside the 20 and 27 fair catches last season — both best in the league.

With talent but not much depth, the Bears are an incredibly promising team that will have success if and only if they stay healthy. By disregarding the admittedly porous secondary and WR deficiencies it will quickly be evident if the coaching staff really knows what they’re talking about or if their responses to Bears skeptics were more damage control than team insight.  But, if these lovable underdogs do wind up breaing the Superfans’ hearts again in 2009, the fandom-through-suffering model should remain intact until the Cubs start up again.

Prediction: 10-6, with a 40% chance of foam Bear claws raining down from the upper levels of Soldier Field


One thought on “Divisionaries: Chicago Bears Season Preview”

  1. Anonymous says:

    U R sooo WRNG in evry way da bearsss R gng to kill the cheeeezhedz on sundy swear 2 god for reallzz.

    ne1 no a gd spllcehcker?

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