Red Arnold
Press Release

Another False Alarm… Par for the Course.

Senator Larson, I just checked and saw that they gave you another “false” rating.

By - Sep 17th, 2014 03:53 pm

Senator Larson, I just checked and saw that they gave you another “false” rating regarding your assessment of the predicted budget shortfall. Is this your honest assessment (which you also reiterated on or are you using a tactic you continuously blame Republicans for? Fear mongering. This double tactic is actually interesting to watch if you’re a neutral party (and know what is transpiring). Not only are you pointing the finger at someone, blaming them for the burning of Rome but you, in fact, are the arsonist. Bravo for being able to accomplishing it for so long but the magic show is over. No one ever pulled a rabbit out of a hat without first putting the rabbit in there. It’s time to actually let the citizens of Wisconsin prosper for a change.

There are 2 things I have that come into play here that make me such a dangerous adversary to your party politics and at the same time a desirable candidate as an option for the people to choose instead of you, Senator. The first is having a MENSA IQ. This isn’t something I divulge in casual conversation but when decisions you make involve the livelihood and pocketbook of 6 million people, I feel it deserves mention. However, I find it comes in handy in situations like these because I’m able to see things others don’t. I mean, you want your doctor to be smart, you want your lawyer to be smart, why would you not want the person writing the laws that you and everyone else you know has to abide by to be smart as well? The second is that I was trained as a Six Sigma Black Belt. What is that, you ask? It has nothing to do with martial arts (unless you count Kung “Food”).  Six Sigma is a data driven problem solving technique that produces astounding results. A Six Sigma Black Belt is a glorified statistical analyst and creative problem solver. I use data, raw data to lead me to the root cause of a problem. Not intuition, not experience, not whatever the head honcho says but raw, unbiased data. Once you identify the root cause of a problem you can solve the issue from the ground up and repair any broken links along the way. That is what makes it so powerful. However, you need to know what to look for and what to test for in order to make said repairs.

This analysis you gave regarding the budget shortfall is pretty much indicative of being antonymous to Six Sigma principles, and accuracy. Allow me to explain. First you took the projected budget shortfall (key word “projected”) and you applied simple arithmetic to it via population. You then used those numbers for fear mongering purposes.

Ray Rice beat his wife. E.g. he is called a wife beater in the literal sense of the word and deservedly so because he actually is one. However, if you walk into a room with a large number of people, like a community event, and you point to someone (you don’t even have to know their name) and shout “this man is a wife beater”, that man, regardless of how many people know him, will now have to defend that accusation forever. If you happen to call him out by name that adds even more credibility to your accusation because that indicates to the rest of the audience that you may know him, regardless of whether or not you do. Human nature dictates that from that moment forth, whenever anyone sees him, they automatically have that idea in their mind that he is a wife beater. It takes a long time for people to finally accept that premise as false but it always resides in the back of their mind but the damage is already (and usually irreparably) done. That is essentially what fear mongering is. Tell a falsehood about somebody to trash their credibility so that nobody listens to anything they say from that moment on.

You guys have done it very well for many years. Why? Because your ideas are so bad that you can’t win any other way, that and it is a very effective tool. Just ask those poor kids with “cooties” on the playground sitting alone that grow up to become a subject for candlelight vigils. Catch my drift? Kids learn things somewhere. Remember that old drug PSA? “You, alright! I learned it by watching you!” It’s hard for kids to shy away from that sort of conduct when even their leaders engage in such behavior.  You throw out misleading accusations such as: “The War on Women,” “Scott Walker is an abuser,” “You want to throw granny off of a cliff,” “You want unsafe streets,” “You want dirty air and dirty water,” “You don’t care about the poor and elderly,” etc. I could go on and on but ink is expensive nowadays and some people still read print.

With Six Sigma you analyze patterns. I have to say, Chris, your results are yielding a definite pattern. The $1.8 billion budget shortfall is a prediction. Back when Jim Doyle was governor, that shortfall was around $3.6 billion. So right off the bat we have about a 100% improvement. If they’re “predicting” this “shortfall” then the legislature has to do things to make sure it balances out. With any luck you actually end up with a surplus. Which… we did… last time around, remember? Hence resulting in that thing that we got that we haven’t seen in years. Oh, GAH! What’s it called? Oh, c’mon, you know that thing? That… that THING! That thing where government actually gives you money back? UGH! Its uhh… a TAX BREAK! Geez, it took me a while to remember what it was called because Wisconsin hadn’t seen one in so long.

We did it once, we can do it again. You increase revenue, cut spending, or perhaps (my favorite) use Six Sigma principles in order to cut fat from governmental processes without cutting any of the meat. Voila! You now have a balanced budget, not a $300 per family cost increase as you so cavalierly claim. Granted that thought process is something that your party is used to but that is what makes us different. That is what makes Six Sigma so lucrative. It is also why so few people use it. It is not easy so not many people can do it. But it can be an invaluable weapon in slashing the waste from a budget… if there was only someone smart enough to use it, brave enough to do it and actually had the gall to run against the blue machine that is trying to revert Wisconsin to its old ways. Gee, if we only had someone like that on the ballot. If there was only someone with a bit of… Red… to counter that blue…

You see, that’s what makes me so dangerous, Chris. I see through your lies, garbage and bully tactics. Not only can I point them out, I stand up to them as well. Then there’s that whole “actual solution” thing that we Republicans engage in, but that’s probably not much of a concern for your party. It takes time away from fear mongering.

There are some who will blindly follow you anywhere merely because you have a (D) in front of your name, but there are other true believers who have something to lose. A car, a house, a life, a chance to send their kid to college, a chance to give their children a shot at a life that they never had because they believed the stories that people like you told and the rhetoric that went along with that pointed finger.

Those people are looking for something different. It’s called the American Dream and they’ve been dreaming long enough. It’s time to turn that dream into reality but you can only do that when you know the truth. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32. Call us out on real mistakes, Chris. Then again, if you actually did that, what would you have to talk about?

With 8 total scores on one side of the meter; 6 Mostly False, 1 False and 1 Pants on Fire, it’s a  pretty good indication as to the job you’ve done in serving the people and providing them with valid information. Information is for the people’s benefit Chris, not yours. The people deserve better. Sorry Chris, but sometimes, truth hurts. But you needn’t worry, because I’m here to set you free.

Mentioned in This Press Release

10 thoughts on “Another False Alarm… Par for the Course.”

  1. Edward says:

    Wow– A self-proclaimed “Mensa” and “Six Sigma Black Belt” braggart who spews forth thousands of word to attack others but has too few words to articulate his position on vital issues.

  2. Edward says:

    Wow– A self-proclaimed “Mensa” and “Six Sigma Black Belt” braggart who spews forth thousands of words to attack others but has too few words to articulate his position on vital issues.

  3. PMD says:

    Boasting about having a Six Sigma Black Belt is like boasting that you have CPR certification. Too funny.

  4. Matt says:

    He didn’t say he was in Mensa. He said he had a Mensa IQ. Of course neither people in Mensa, nor people with “Mensa IQ” go around saying such things because it makes you look like a dick. And not very smart. As one who does not have a Mensa IQ I can only guess being that stupid might be why Mr. Red Arnold is not an actual member.

    Mr. Arnold also seems to imply that he is a neutral party. That may well be true. To assess, one would have to know who this genius is. That would imply a level of interest, which one suspects is not widespread. Who is Red Arnold? Did his daddy own a drive in?

    He also seems to like Politifact. To each his own. And he is in the Six Sigma, which I thought was a cult but now know is some sort of organization that gives out belts. Seems a lot of reading to get a belt. Some of us go to stores. Then again, some of are not geniuses.

  5. PDQ says:

    If brevity is the soul of wit, then Mr. Arnold is bankrupt on all accounts.

  6. Andy says:

    In defense of Six Sigma Black Belts… it takes a lot more work than CPR certification… and while not directly saving a life, it is extremely beneficial.

  7. PMD says:

    Andy to the rescue! I should have known. Are you speaking from experience? I was exaggerating, if that makes you feel better, but only slightly. I used to work with a ton of people who have Six Sigma, and they’re so common as to not really be all that noteworthy.

  8. Andy says:

    I guess I could see that… it is the type of program that a company could make a lot of employee’s go through who just go through the motions to get certified and never actually put it to good use.

  9. PMD says:

    That has been my experience with it.

  10. John Michlig says:

    EXCELLENT satirical article. I look forward to more from this “Red Arnold” character. (“Bravo for being able to accomplishing [sic] it for so long but the magic show is over”, and then “MENSA IQ” – hilarious!)

    “Six Sigma Blackbelt”!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *