Derby Little Secrets
The Surprisingly Difficult Art of the Roller Derby Playlist
I don’t often put myself into an article. I would rather let the story tell itself. But in this case, a little back story is warranted. Back in September of 2008, I volunteered to help referee the Brewcity Bruisers Roller Derby league. It had been at least ten years since I put on skates and the prospect of joining a close-knit group of refs and rollergirls was a scary one. The learning curve was sharp and continues to be – but I’m still glad I found the courage to do it. One night before a practice, the new stereo system had only a jack for an mp3 player and I was the only one with a working unit. It was an honor and privilege to share my music. No, wait, it was a nightmare. My Zune contains over 4,800 songs. Putting it on shuffle would result in Beastie Boys one minute and Nick Drake the next. There is also an album of accordion classics in there. Embarassed that I had no playlist proper for a warehouse full of women about to knock each other around on wheels, I set the player to Fatboy Slim and hoped for the best. Like Scarlett O’Hara pulling a root from the ground and vowing never to go hungry again, I decided over the next few months to put together some good music for derbying. It became a bit of an obsession. What is produced here illuminates some realizations about the difficult of making a list and choosing the songs within it. A typical playlist – if being used strictly in the course of a bout – would have to last 40 minutes to an hour for two halves of a match between just two teams. If it was a BCB match, there are four teams facing off in two 20-minute jams. So now you are up to 80 minutes. Now factor in warm-up time, introductions, halftime, timeouts – a typical bout can last well over two hours. In that scenario, I leave the expertise up to someone like professional DJ Mike Shank who handles the monthly BCB gigs with aplomb. I consulted him on the idea and took some songs that have been played at the bouts. Even if just for a practice or scrimmage, a good roller derby playlist tends to evoke memories of a Saturday night at the rink just skating around with friends. It almost seems sometimes as if the right balance of tempo and attitude for roller skating was founded in the late 1970s to mid-80s. The best songs are ones to which you could mouth the words while carving the big oval. A few of the rollergirls have said they just need a good thumping beat to go with their workout. Most can’t agree on one format but they appreciate a variety of hip hop, funk, hard rock, electronica, and rockabilly. Folk, Jazz, Bluegrass, and most modern Country doesn’t seem to work. Occasionally new stuff culled from reading SPIN magazine or cribbing off the […]
Mar 12th, 2009 by Brian Jacobson
Mardi Gras Roller Derby
As you’ll note we’ve got a place holder where the column head used to be. This is because after receiving a “cease and desist” notice on our column title, this column and Vital Source entered the exciting world of COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. But we’re not pissy. In fact we are giving you a chance to vote for a new name for the column. Stay tuned for more details! Now back to the derby! DAREDEVILS OUT-STUNT NINJAS! Shevil Knevils, 70, win over Crazy 8’s, 49 It was a night of triumph for the underdog team of the Shevil Knevils as they won their first match this season, winning over the Crazy 8’s 70-49 Jammers Irrational Velvet, the Eviscerator, Femaldehyde, Trash Talkin’ Tina and Moby Nipps were in fine form on the track. Blockers like Terror Lapinski, Nasty Canasta, and many others made it difficult for the 8’s jammers to break through. The 8’s found a lot of their players sitting in the penalty box and had trouble sustaining momentum. I talked with jammer Irrational Velvet about the victory. “I’m thrilled about the Shevils beating the reining season champs for a second season. I have to say, the 8s are a blast to play against. When jamming, I did what I could to nickel and dime the score board. Lots of small victories jam by jam really added up for us,” Velvet said, then added about her team. “Each Shevil gave all of herself for every second of the bout to chisel away at victory. All in all, we really harnessed our aggression and played a smart, cohesive bout.” PINKOS PUMMEL PINKIES with POINTS! Rushin Rollettes, 89 win over Maiden Milwaukee, 52 The Rushin Rollettes continued their reign of terror as they defeated Maiden Milwaukee 89-52. They once again unleashed their assault of jammers including Hacksaw, Jackie O’Nihilate, Rhoda Ruin, Fly Girl, Reina Pain, and High D. Voltage. The Maidens had an impressive jammer ensemble this evening as well with the always reliable Rejected Seoul, Super Hera, Grace Killy, Damaged Goods, and the mysterious Sea Hag kicking out the jams. However, the Rollettes gained an early lead and the Maidens never recovered. I checked in with Rollette Roadie Foster to talk about the win. “I am so proud of the Rollettes! I feel that we played together as a team for the first time this season and I think the championships are now in our grasp. Rhoda Ruin stepped it up and proved she is indeed a fantastic jammer. She was amazing!” Foster said, then continued to cite Rollette performances. “I also thought fellow Captain Jackie O’Nihilate, newbie Sevo and second year Rollette Melba Toastya had fantastic games. We came in ready to win and that’s just what we did.” Foster also talked about her favorite part of the game. “My favorite moves are always hitting jammers out of bounds and slowing up so that they have to wait to come back in. It makes them so angry! And I love laying a […]
Mar 1st, 2009 by Tea Krulos
Roll out the derby!
DERBY VODCAST: VOLUME 2! You know it’s a derby match in Wisconsin when the stands are filled with fans despite the frigid temperatures – and when the half time show features the Beerleaders dancing a polka with audience members to the oom pah pah-powered sounds of “Roll out the Barrel.” Polka hits were provided by the tuba and accordions of The Squeezettes. The Vital Source crew – from the comfort of the Bruisers’ new PRESS BOX – shot track footage and interviews for the vodcast (above! just hit play! -ed.) and sent live updates to Vital Source’s Twitter feed (keep up: twitter.com/VitalSourceMag). We were joined by the talented Geoffrey Saucer of the Derby News Network (derbynewsnetwork.com) who writes recaps on the Bruisers and Madison’s Mad Rollin Dolls. MAIDENS MONKEY WRENCH THE NINJAS! Maiden Milwaukee, 99 wins over Crazy 8’s, 60 It was a great night for the Maidens who won big over the Crazy 8’s in an upset victory. This was the first loss this season for the 8’s who were last season’s championship winners. The Maidens showed a lot of energy and remarkable team work. Jammers Rejected Seoul (with 36 points), Romaniac (38 points), and Super Hera (25 points) tore up the track with incredible performances, zig zagging through the pack. Rejected Seoul and Super Hera both got alone time on the track early on in the game because the 8’s jammers had fouled out. This allowed the Maidens to quickly rack up the points, and just 5 jams into the game they had built a 38-6 lead. Super Hera commented on her team’s success. “Saturday demonstrated the momentum of the Maidens when we work together. We won because we remembered the fundamentals and played as a team. The Maiden blockers really stepped up their game, paralyzing the 8’s defense and making it easy for the jammers to rack up the points. If we continue playing at this level, there is no doubt that you’ll see the Maidens in the championship,” Hera said. The 8’s are still down to twelve players this season due to injury and other factors, and it looks like it might be beginning to wear them down. Blockers and pivots Servin Justice, Termiskater, Kat Scratch Fever, and Little Miss Tuffhit were all out on the track for 60-70% of the game. If you compare that to the other teams, only a couple of skaters were on the track past the 50% mark. Jammers Abba Zabba (15 points), Pabsty Cline (6 points), and team Captain Cookie Ciano (39 points, making her the highest scoring jammer for every bout this season), along with the rest of the short staffed team, couldn’t close the gap. 8’s blocker Andicent Proposal spoke about her team. “The Maidens are an incredible team this season. They have a lot, and I mean A LOT of fierce ladies skating with them. We had an uphill battle during this bout with a number of our players out due to injuries. I think that we […]
Jan 26th, 2009 by Tea Krulos
The HOLLASKATE bout
The derby was fast and furious on this frigid December night. I was joined by the Vital Source magazine crew as we filmed our first VS Derby vodcast. We had a blast talking to some skaters and got some great footage. What a night! NINJAS STRIKE IN SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME DEFEAT! CRAZY 8’S, 75 win over RUSHIN ROLLETTES, 72 It was an incredible match! Everyone was on the edge of their seats as this tie game went into a sudden death overtime jam, with the 8’s winning by a mere three points. What made this win even more compelling was that the 8’s were down to just 11 skaters, while the Rollettes were rolling with 18. And talk about high rollers- howsabouts Crazy 8’s Captain Cookie Ciano, who was high scorer for the second bout in a row with 47 big points! The game was neck and neck throughout, ending with a 69-69 tie when the clock ran out. I asked Rollettes jammer High D. Voltage to talk about her personal highlights of the game. “That would have to be the tough defensive walls that the Rollettes put up in order for me to get through. A jammer is only as good as her defense, which makes it much easier to skate through the pack. That’s what made it possible for me to get those two grand slams in the second period, thus taking the lead for a short time. The tempo of the game was also very exciting, and being able to be a part of the first overtime in Bruiser history. Of course, I wish that I came up on the winning end but being able to hold my own against Cookie, who is a machine or at a minimum … not human, makes me feel pretty good. Her focus and tenacity is the core of their team.” Voltage said. Voltage led the Rollettes with 28 points, followed by Smirk Savage with 17 and Jackie O’Nihilate with 15. Reina Pain also scored 4 points, though she appeared to suffer from an injury early in the second half. I asked her what the deal was. “Yeah, I hurt my tailbone from a nasty digger I took. I’m not sure how I even did it or if someone put a block on me. I almost want to say that me being the klutz I am did it to myself! I can’t even sit down on it yet, talk about needing a chiro appointment!” I also asked what she felt the toughest part of the bout was. “I think the whole thing was intense. I think when we had to go into overtime, [that] was probably the toughest. There is always so much pressure on each team by that point because you know that’s the jam that makes it or breaks it. I thought we all played really well out there and one thing that Hacksaw said was, ‘It’s not just one girl who loses or wins a game, it’s the […]
Dec 12th, 2008 by Tea Krulos
Fall back into derby
After missing much of the off season, the old Krulos is back to report on the Bruisers. I’ve teamed up with our fine friends and roller derby fans at Vital Source magazine to bring you the good Derby word every month, so check back for post-bout recaps, commentary and maybe even some video action. You didn’t hear it from me. I watched the bout with Carny Power, one of the league founders (along with Butch Cassidy, who has moved on, and Jesse Jameson, who still laces up the skates with the Rollettes), and she was able to lend helpful insights throughout the bout. Thanks Carny! RETURN OF THE COLD WAR? RUSHIN ROLLETTES, 92 win over MAIDEN MILWAUKEE , 51 Jammer Rejected Seoul (far left) of Maiden Milwaukee edges past Rushin Rollettes jammer Fly Girl (Photos by Joe Kirschling) After suffering losses at the end of last season, the Rollettes were eager for a comeback, and they got it with a 41 point win over the Maidens. The Rollettes returned with most of their key players from last season as well as a few new skaters. Jammer High D. Voltage helped erase an early 14 point lead by the Maidens and later scored a “Grand Slam,” which is when a jammer skating solo cruises by all the other team’s players. Other new Rollettes include Sevo, Voodoo Grrrl, and HackSAW, who used to skate for the Reservoir Dolls in Madison league the Mad Rollin Dolls. “I had a lot of encouragement joining BCB from both Madison and Milwaukee on transferring,” HackSAW told me. “I developed my love for skating and derby in Madison and the Reservoir Dolls helped shape that. I LOVED every second of the bout and sharing it with not only my team but a league of kick ass women role models. I can’t wait for the next bout and the chance to kick butt with my fellow comrades!” I also spoke to the notoriously lippy Smirk Savage, one of the Rollettes’ star jammers. I asked her if the Rollettes were back for another championship winning season. “The Rollettes were never gone! We were simply down for a hot minute at the end of the season there, but we’ve got some amazing new additions this season who’ve significantly contributed to this first win,” Smirk said before explaining the Rollettes’ win formula. “We’re gunning for the championship again this year! Getting back to the roots of Rollettes derby … hit them hard, hit them fast, kill kill kill, and win win win!” The Maidens tried to hold their own, with stellar skating from jammers like Rejected Seoul, co-Captain Madd Mallett, the crazed Romaniac and new recruit Super Hera, who formerly played with the Dominion Derby Girls straight outta Virginia Beach. The energetic skating, however, wasn’t enough to turn the tide pink. HALFTIME REPORT The Beerleaders in zombie gear Back again for the Bruisers fans are the rah rah rahing, pom poming, beer running Beerleaders, led this year by Robin Ya’Blind and […]
Nov 17th, 2008 by Tea Krulos
