2005-12 Vital Source Mag – December 2005

The Truth (With Jokes)
Ouisconsin: The Dead in Our Clouds
Ouisconsin

The Dead in Our Clouds

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Six Milwaukeeans’ Best (And Worst) Holiday Memories

Six Milwaukeeans’ Best (And Worst) Holiday Memories

By Evan Solochek Tom Barrett (Mayor of Milwaukee) When I was 12, I served as an altar boy on Christmas morning. My mother woke me at 4:30a.m. for 5:30a.m. mass. We met my best friend and his mother and drove to St. Sebastian. I remembered being amazed at how many people would actually get up at that time in the morning to go to mass. It was a beautiful and meaningful service. When it was over, my mother and I set out for home, my anticipation of opening my presents growing to near-urgency as we approached our house. As I raced to the door ahead of my mom, she stopped me and gave me the heartbreaking news. My younger sister still believed in Santa Claus and, to preserve her imagination, I would have to wait until she awoke to see the presents under the tree. Of course, all Christmas stories should have a happy ending and this one does too. When I finally was able to look at the presents, I saw a brand new toboggan. There was fresh snow from the day before and I spent hours with my brother and sisters riding in Washington Park. Mark Borchardt (filmmaker, American Movie star) Last Christmas the cat got stuck up in the tree. Family and friends, including my kids and Ken Keen, were gathered at the house for the yearly celebration, but this unforeseen event became the main narrative of the day. What started out as a pedestrian incident turned into a tense, day-long ordeal. A variety of initial rescue attempts proved futile as the cat only moved further up the tree. Finally, the fire department was called, but they had abolished the service and their basic philosophy was that the cat got itself up there and the cat can get itself down. So much for that. It grew colder and night was closing in. The cat would surely meet a bitter fate if a rescue was not accomplished. Though my youngest daughter Dara’s heart grew increasingly concerned, it could not be broken. I climbed up on the motor home underneath the tree and vigorously shook the main branch that the cat had sunk its claws into. Terrified, it clung for dear life, so I shook the branch even more violently. The cat determinedly stayed on it for a while but then its grip started loosening, its stamina weakening. Excited voices rose as I shook the limb even more intensely. Suddenly, the cat’s back legs gave way and swung out in the air, a ballet of madness. Gasps from the ground erupted as the front legs finally gave way and the body took a free-fall through the dead branches of the tree. The plummeting cat almost missed the blanket but caught enough to break its fall. It bounded off and raced around the house. Dara reappeared with the cat in her loving arms and Ken concluded that the rescue required some kind of a fermented beverage. Keith Tozer (Milwaukee Wave […]

TransAmerica

TransAmerica

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Why Unity Matters

Why Unity Matters

By Phillip Walzak In a letter to the editor printed in the last issue of Vital Source (November 2005, Vol. 4, Issue 10, pg. 6) a left-leaning and clearly impassioned reader excoriated me for a mistake I made in a previous column. In the piece entitled “Political Math 101” (August 2005) I wrongly attributed to Al Gore the infamous “I invented the Internet” line – a line he never actually said. It was clearly an error, and I fully acknowledge it and apologize. But the reader’s letter revealed far more than a sloppy mistake on my part. It unmasked an ugly trend that has seeped into lefty politics since the departure of Bill Clinton, and threatens progressivism’s chance for electoral success in the future. The Letter. “If the author would have checked his own facts,” the reader penned, “he would have found that what Mr. Gore actually said was that he ‘funded’ the Internet.” Actually, It appears we both got it wrong: then-Vice President Al Gore really said in an interview with Wolf Blitzer in March 1999: “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.” Certainly not as bold as claiming Gore himself invented the Internet in a computer lab, but also more forceful than simply asserting he appropriated funding in some spending bill. No matter, the semantics are petty and pointless – but I admit that I enjoyed the irony for being taken to task over incorrect information by someone who himself got it wrong. I don’t mind being shown up – if I get something wrong, call me out. I can take it. To the point, it was the angry, negative, visceral tone of the letter that caught my attention. The enraged reader wrote he “was appalled to find the author regurgitating the same right-wing-fueled misquote of Al Gore” and slammed me for being “too damn lazy to do his own research.” After recovering from the body blows, I checked my wallet to be sure I wasn’t a card-carrying member of the RNC. The Politics of Disunity.It’s too bad the reader was so quick to dismiss my points, because my article basically blasted the Bush Administration for having no credibility when it originally sought office on a platform of being credible. I used the Al Gore line to demonstrate Bush’s line of attack, and to highlight the Administration’s hypocrisy in the wake of the Valerie Plame leak. The reader would probably agree with that. But instead of talking about Karl Rove and Scooter Libby and how the Bushies have played politics with our national security, the end result is that two progressives have now expended time and energy discussing a six-year-old quote from a now irrelevant politician who hasn’t held elective office in half a decade. In political jargon, we’re off-message, and this gaffe – not my misquote, but rather the reader’s obsession with it – epitomizes the penny-wise, pound-foolish approach to politics that our reader and so many other […]

Studs Terkel

Studs Terkel

By Paul Snyder Studs Terkel can talk. This is unsurprising to those familiar with the Chicago legend’s broadcast career. Terkel’s voice could be heard on radio waves in the City of Big Shoulders as far back as the 1930s, when he would provide dialogue for soap operas and announce news and sporting events to the city. One of the most eclectic and enjoyable disc jockeys on the air, his award-winning Studs Terkel Program aired until 1997. There was also a short-lived TV show in the 1950s, called Studs’ Place. But his wider audience may know him mostly for his books. Required reading in assorted classrooms throughout the United States, Terkel’s print work expanded his audience from one city to the entire nation, and established him as a preeminent voice in the American oral history genre. Titles like Working, Hard Times: An Oral History of the Great Depression and The Great Divide: Second Thoughts on the American Dream exposed readers to stories of the common man and told about our country’s history from the eyes and mouths of those who lived it. Terkel was 44 when his first book, Giants of Jazz, was published in 1956. Now 93, he has just released And They All Sang: Adventures of an Eclectic Disc Jockey, to positive reviews. It’s ridiculously difficult to avoid clichés like “full circle,” but it seems more than apropos that a half-century’s worth of published work is book-ended by two volumes on one of the man’s deepest passions – music. And They All Sang chronicles Terkel’s time behind the mic hosting The Wax Museum, his radio show that debuted in 1945 and explored all genres of music. Interviews range from Edith Mason to Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin to Louis Armstrong, and Dizzy Gillespie to Ravi Shankar. But those are the big names. Mention one of music’s unsung heroes, and Terkel raves like your best friend trying to turn you on to this great new album he’s just heard. Take Bill Broonzy, for instance… “Big Bill Broonzy!” he exclaims. “Oh, he was wonderful! You like him? He’s an underestimated blues singer of our time, and none of the guys ever mention him. I’m glad you did. That was his farewell song that he did on my program. He was saying goodbye to all his friends. That was a wonderful one. Boy, you’ve got good taste.” In reading Terkel’s interview with Broonzy, one can almost imagine high school teachers and college professors poring over the socially-conscious undertones of the interview for history lessons. It took place shortly before Broonzy’s death and found the artist musing on the new sensation of rock & roll and white folks essentially pilfering this old black music. Though the interview was far from containing hostile overtones (much less undertones), it is ironic to note Broonzy’s reflection on how much money and notoriety white folks were getting from playing the blues. Though considered highly influential in the music industry, even name-checked by George Harrison in his 1987 song, […]

Erin Wolf’s Road Trip Rules

Erin Wolf’s Road Trip Rules

By Erin Wolf When reality television asks, “Wanna be a rock star?” and slaps the title of ‘American Idol’ on your Hi My Name Is: tag, they fail to disclose miniscule bits of information otherwise known as reality. A musician is not pulled into each show by golden horses and whisked away into a crowd of adoring, salivating fans. Pop the bubble now. Fledgling bands, you will find love in music, but it will be tough. And it starts by nestling in the incapable arms of the Road Trip. Elusive until you finally get enough gear and a decent mode of transportation, the Road Trip will hold many surprises. Here is a short, personal account of my own road trip lessons. Rules of the Road: A Rough Guide to Making It Through the Tour 1. The vehicle. Is it road-ready? Make sure the band-mobile is fueled up, and the tires have enough air. Coolant is also nice on those extra-hot Midwestern days. If you forget the coolant originally, be prepared to wait for it to work by blasting the heater on a 110-degree highway. 2. The route. MapQuest maps are not all they’re cracked up to be– learn this now. 3. Bring a pillow. Otherwise you’ll end up sleeping with your face on top of something during your van-ride nap that will leave interesting lines for hours. “What happened to your face?” is not a great way to open a conversation. 4. Eat right. Avoid anything at the gas station that involves jalapenos, fake or rotating meat or any edible that is free. These items contain smells that will linger in the non-circulatory air of the van for-EV-er. 5. Park strategically. Try to secure a parking spot within a few feet of the actual venue. If there’s nowhere to park, and you’re forced to park blocks away, you’ll be glad your amps and cabinets have wheels. If you’re assigned a Fender Rhodes piano, though, you are gonna be shit-out-of-luck. Did you eat your Wheaties? 6. Turn up the lights. Always make sure to get good lighting onstage (especially if over half your band is vision-impaired). Kicking the lights all the way up also helps if you have stage fright – you won’t be able to see the audience. Forget the ‘picturing people in their underwear’ deal. Not seeing them at all is way better. 7. Free beer is a trap. Although the tap beer is free, avoid it like the plague, unless spending the wee hours of the morning curled up, pm the bathroom floor in the fetal position is an acceptable trade-off. 8. Know where you’re sleeping. Line up a house to stay at after the show. Otherwise, you’ll end up sleeping in the van or in a motel reminiscent of a 1950s bomb shelter, complete with metal walls covered in vinyl and smells suggestive of the inside of a wet sock that a cheap cigar was snuffed into. 9. Pack lots of clean t-shirts. But if you forget […]