Fall back into derby
After missing much of the off season, the old Krulos is back to report on the Bruisers. I’ve teamed up with our fine friends and roller derby fans at Vital Source magazine to bring you the good Derby word every month, so check back for post-bout recaps, commentary and maybe even some video action. You didn’t hear it from me.
I watched the bout with Carny Power, one of the league founders (along with Butch Cassidy, who has moved on, and Jesse Jameson, who still laces up the skates with the Rollettes), and she was able to lend helpful insights throughout the bout. Thanks Carny!
RETURN OF THE COLD WAR?
RUSHIN ROLLETTES, 92 win over MAIDEN MILWAUKEE , 51
Jammer Rejected Seoul (far left) of Maiden Milwaukee edges past Rushin Rollettes jammer Fly Girl (Photos by Joe Kirschling)
After suffering losses at the end of last season, the Rollettes were eager for a comeback, and they got it with a 41 point win over the Maidens. The Rollettes returned with most of their key players from last season as well as a few new skaters. Jammer High D. Voltage helped erase an early 14 point lead by the Maidens and later scored a “Grand Slam,” which is when a jammer skating solo cruises by all the other team’s players.
Other new Rollettes include Sevo, Voodoo Grrrl, and HackSAW, who used to skate for the Reservoir Dolls in Madison league the Mad Rollin Dolls.
“I had a lot of encouragement joining BCB from both Madison and Milwaukee on transferring,” HackSAW told me. “I developed my love for skating and derby in Madison and the Reservoir Dolls helped shape that. I LOVED every second of the bout and sharing it with not only my team but a league of kick ass women role models. I can’t wait for the next bout and the chance to kick butt with my fellow comrades!”
“The Rollettes were never gone! We were simply down for a hot minute at the end of the season there, but we’ve got some amazing new additions this season who’ve significantly contributed to this first win,” Smirk said before explaining the Rollettes’ win formula.
“We’re gunning for the championship again this year! Getting back to the roots of Rollettes derby … hit them hard, hit them fast, kill kill kill, and win win win!”
The Maidens tried to hold their own, with stellar skating from jammers like Rejected Seoul, co-Captain Madd Mallett, the crazed Romaniac and new recruit Super Hera, who formerly played with the Dominion Derby Girls straight outta Virginia Beach. The energetic skating, however, wasn’t enough to turn the tide pink.
HALFTIME REPORT
The Beerleaders in zombie gear
Back again for the Bruisers fans are the rah rah rahing, pom poming, beer running Beerleaders, led this year by Robin Ya’Blind and Whiskey Longstockings. The group has a few new recruits. I asked Ya’Blind how the new crew is filling out the Beerleader shoes.
“They’re doing great! They’ve all been really enthusiastic and wonderful.” Ya’ Blind said, and hinted that the group is working on a Run DMC theme for next bout.
NINJA DEATH SQUAD STILL AT LARGE!
CRAZY 8’s, 84 WIN OVER SHEVIL KNEVILS, 60
The victorious Crazy 8’s slap hands with the Shevils
Despite being down a couple of team members, the 8’s proved they’re still crazy after all these years with some stealthy ninja moves from jammers Cookie Ciano, Abba Zabba, Pabsty Cline and newcomer Apple Smacks. Smacks used to skate with the Violent Femmes in the North Star Roller Girls league in the Twin Cities. She says she feels at home with her new team.
“I love skating with the 8’s. There are some really great blockers, and a jammer is only as good as her blockers! And of course, I’m crazy, so I fit right in!” Smacks stated.
This jammer line up, along with a solid pack of pivots and blockers, is going to be hard for any team to beat. I spoke with newbie SLAMeLa about her first bout and the 8’s strategy to stay number one.
“We are determined to keep our title by being focused at our team practices and bringing it ninja style at league practices. The 8’s lost some key players at the beginning of the season. The pressure was on as a newbie to really push myself mentally and physically and step to the track to bring my SLAM on,” SLAMeLa stated. The basic plan?
“The 8’s just have to stay healthy, injury free, and cohesive as a team to be successful the rest of the season. MAGIC MAGIC NINJA WHAAAT!”
“I’m happy everyone on our team got a chance to play. I’m proud that our team is about playing the game and having fun. All the new girls did really well. I mean, we’re going to win our next bout against the 8’s. They’re going down!” Femaldehyde said.
Knevil Edna Gein was ejected from the game with just minutes to go. It’s rare for a player to be completely ejected from a game so I asked Gein to explain.
“I am bad! I was playing aggressively outside the rules, I guess. I got three major penalties in one period and that equals automatic EJECTION. I’m only the second Bruiser ever to be ejected from a season game in Bruiser history. Little Miss Tuffhit got ejected the first year for accidentally hitting a ref in a fight,” Gein told me.
Minutes later the scoreboard told the awful truth. The 8’s had taken the game by 24 points.
AMBULANCE CHASER
She won’t be visiting the “YMCA” anytime soon, but Disco InSterno of the Knevils is “Stayin’ Alive.” She damaged her ankle and gave Talk Derby an update.
“I am out for 8 weeks. This means no walking on it for 8 weeks. After that, I teach my right foot to walk again. I am not skating the rest of the season. I broke my fibula and separated my foot 3mm from the ankle joint, so they had to put my foot back into place and put pins in it to hold it all together.” InSterno told me. Get well soon!
