What to expect when you’re expecting Primus

They’re calling it “An Evening With Primus” and do you know what that means? NO OPENING BAND TO SUFFER THROUGH. They don’t have time that, you see, because Primus will be playing two full sets. Can the cavernous, crumbling Eagles Club withstand the structural pounding that’s bound to take place?

FOUR THINGS TO EXPECT:

Twin Towering Astronauts: Yes, there most certainly should be a pair of giant space travelers gracing the stage, leftover from last year’s Primus world-wide roadtrips. They don’t dance or do tricks, but I hear that the helmets light up with the faces of old men, perhaps NASA heroes of days gone by.

Green Naugahyde: Plenty of it, too. “Eyes of the Squirrel”, “Tragedy’s a’ Comin’”, “Lee Van Cleef” and “Jilly’s on Smack” were all on the set list for the Primus extravaganza at Beale Street Music Festival earlier this month on Memphis, where I just missed ‘em, regrettably. I’ve seen their circus act before and enjoyed ‘em every time and even had the pleasure of a nice, long conversation about imagination, Tascam 388s, and Prawn Song Records among other things with Les Claypool and Larry Le Londe nearly twenty years ago. Larry couldn’t stop talking about the time he spent in Wham!, although he never really explained what he did. ONE MORE THING: If yer going to this show, and Primus doesn’t play “Hennepin Crawler” from Green Naugahyde, refuse to leave until they do.

Jay Lane Is Back: Primus has had more drummers than the Chicago Bears have had quarterbacks over the past 25 years, but now that Lane is sworn off playing in hippie bands (at least for awhile), he and Claypool can settle down into some solid groove generating. Nobody beats the hell out of a rhythm as mercilessly (and, at the same time, as buoyantly!) as these two.

“Jerry Was A Race Car Driver”: Word to the old and wise… If you are forty-five or older, get yerself the heck off of the floor and up into the balcony before the “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” shitstorm hits. Seriously. You’ve not been in a mosh pit until you’ve been in the unbridled chaos that is the “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” mosh pit. Actually, forget about the balcony and calmly make yer way toward the exit, because that’s about the time the ballroom will cave in.

Primus goes onstage at the Rave/Eagles Ballroom tonight (Sunday, May 27) at 9 p.m. Tickets start at $32; visit the Rave’s website for more details.