They sold their souls for “The Church Of Rock And Roll”

The Church Of Rock And Roll is the fourth elpee from Cincinnati’s absolutely bonkers rock and roll band Foxy Shazam. From the beginning, their stated intent has been to eventually become THE BIGGEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD, and with these new entries into the Foxy Shazam hymnbook, a new label with major distro power, and an opening slot with The Darkness on a thirteen-date U.S. tour, they’ve positioned themselves to take their shot.

I saw this day coming, but that doesn’t make The Church Of Rock And Roll any less disappointing.

Foxy Shazam is a really, REALLY great band, and Eric Nally is a future rock god. I’ve always thought so. When I first heard these guys in 2007, I said that Nally sounded like the gnarly offspring of Little Richard and Hedwig. The band is a pack of hellions who sound as if they grew up in a music store. The problem with The Church Of Rock And Roll is this: Foxy Shazam, in order to become THE BIGGEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD, must make music that FM rock radio will play over and over again, and that’s where consultants and research creatures get involved to the point where the artists might as well hand their instruments over to the suits and let THEM make the record. Au Contraire, the elpee born during Foxy’s brief relationship with Warner Brothers, had hints of Big Label involvement; one could hear the band straining on the leash at times through the shiny studio finish, but in the end, it was unmistakably Foxy Shazam’s record. Some of the demon energy of their earlier recordings like “Flamingo Trigger” and “Introducing” was noticeably absent, but not gone completely. With a blatantly obvious sport stadium anthem in “Unstoppable” and a vividly beautiful song written for Nally’s son Julian called “Oh Lord” (which was chosen as a single) where Nally does THEE MOST AMAZING vocal gymnastics for this side of Freddie Mercury’s grave, Warner Brothers could have helped these guys realize their goal on their own terms… but they didn’t. Warner Brothers didn’t do shit with Au Contraire. Idiots.

The Church Of Rock And Roll isn’t a bad record; it’s a safe record. It’s not as musically daring as their previous elpeez, so the game plan seems to rely on Eric Nally’s voice more than ever. He’s up for the occasion (OF COURSE), and if I.R.S. Records actually follows through and works this at radio, tongues will eventually wag and compare Nally to Mercury. The title track kicks things off, all bombast and Queen-style multitracked Nally choruses. Musically, like nearly all of these new tracks, it’s simple and tight, leaving little room for variation. The first single, “I Like It” follows with more Nally multitracking (yes, it’s a trend that continues throughout) but little lyrical deviation from the “Biggest black ass I’ve ever seen and I LIKE IT” subject matter. A Sir Mix-A-Lot “Big Butts” mashup seems inevitable.

The Church Of Rock And Roll was produced by another screamer of some renown, one Justin Hawkins of The Darkness. Perhaps it’s just coincidence, but outside of how physically irritated I become after only a few minutes of their music, I don’t find The Darkness interesting at all. However, I don’t fault Hawkins for the fact that there really is nothing on this record that I care to hear again. I don’t fault Eric Nally… his voice is as amazing as ever. Plain and simple, the problem is the plain and simple songwriting and lack of inventive arrangement. This is mass consumption Foxy Shazam. If that’s yer thing, you can have my seat on the bandwagon this time around.