A story for April Fool’s Day
Sugar…or salt? Photo by Mel B. via Flickr.
It all began, this thing known as “April Fools Day,” way back in time, though scholars are divided on whom to blame. Whatever, it’s long been a global madness, a release of sorts from winter’s grip, a pean to spring with a twist. But for me it began when I sat down to breakfast in our Iowa house and dipped into the milk-glass dish marked “SUGAR,” pouring a heap of it on my bowl of steaming oatmeal.
In keeping with this nonsense, I delved deep into Wikipedia in order to sow some laughter into your day and mine. Did you know that in 1993, a San Diego DJ told listeners that Space Shuttle Discovery had been diverted and would be landing at Montgomery Field, a small nearby airport? Thousands convened there to ogle the landing. Uh oh, there wasn’t even a shuttle in orbit at the time. National Public Radio (my antidote to Limbaugh and Beck, etc.), announced recently that the “iBod” was forthcoming, never mind that it was a body control device. In 2008, they reported that rather than send out rebate checks, the IRS was shipping consumer products. Half a hog, a shank of lamb? Gotcha. A box of underwear? Considering our budget crisis, I fail to get the joke.
In the fun 60s, Dutch TV news reported that the Tower of Pisa had fallen over, and then BBC kicked in with news that the Swiss were harvesting spaghetti from trees. According to Wikipedia, a large number of Fools contacted the station wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees. Diet water is coming to a tap near you, or so claimed a merry prankster, and that water would mean a third tap would be installed in all homes. People sucked up the news. Seriously.
My brother Dennis, crossbred with a sheep.
Then there are cloned Unicorns, the cross-breeding of Charolais cattle and Fawn Runner Ducks, the assassination of Microsoft founder Bill Gates (resulting in a 1.5% drop in the South Korean stock market) and wow — President Barack Obama pulls a fast one when he orders Chevy and Dodge to pull NASCAR funding.
In 1979, Iran declared April l its national Republic Day. It continues to be mistaken for a joke, and I’m not joshing –though here I’ll add that there’s nothing funny about the current Middle East crisis, unless it’s how to spell Ghadaffi/Qaddafi/Ghadhafi…
A photo of “water on Mars,” turned out to be a photo of a glass of H20 sitting on a Mars candy bar. Methinks that is stretching it a bit, but oh well. In 1698, people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to viewing “the washing of the Lions.” As late as 1857 tickets were still being sold. Had I been alive then, maybe I’d have purchased one… after all, I did fall for the sugar/salt thing.
Face it readers, we live in a world where the line between fact and fiction is so thin, it barely exists. It takes a keen mind to determine what is and what isn’t. I’m not saying my mind is keen, but I’m here to tell you that this year, come April 1, I’ll be looking out for cattle crossbred with ducks. Should I spy cattle with webbed feet and feathers galore, you’ll be the first to know. Oh by the way, I’ve included a genuine photo of my brother Dennis crossbred with a sheep. Just saying….
