The Joys of Swimsuits

It’s that time of year again: time to find the “perfect” swimsuit.  Is there really such a thing as the perfect suit?  I’m not sure, but here are some tips to put you on track to finding a suit that’s best for your body type.  This article is dedicated to Heather, who asked me to write it.

 

Short torso : Look for a suit with high-cut legs or a 1-piece with a plunging neckline to lengthen legs and your torso.

Long torso: You can wear a boy-shorts style bottom, but no high necklines or vertical stripes.  Both will make your torso look longer.  Look for a sexy cutout 1-piece that accents your figure.

Large stomach: Look for suits with ruching around the middle, a tankini, ones with special tummy panels (such as Magicsuit), or a printed top.  These are all suits which will fool the eye into seeing your stomach as flatter.  Stay away from bikinis and horizontal stripes–they’re not your friends.

 

Large hips/butt: Choose suits with little skirts which will hide both issues.  Also, choose suits with eye-catching details on top, such as ruffles, beads, or bright colors.  Leave the dark colors for the bottom half.  Stay away from bikinis and other suits with little fabric around the bottom half.

Large thighs: Wear a skirted style or a dramatic waist style to draw eyes up.  Stay away from boy-cut bottoms, which will make legs look wider. People are naturally drawn to them, because you’d think they would hide the thighs. But, due to the cut, they actually draw unwanted attention to them.

Small bust: You are one of the very few body types that can wear a bandeau or triangle top and get away with it.  So, find some really cute ones and wear them with pride.  Don’t be afraid to add some ruffles, print, or other decoration to the top.  It will make your chest look larger. You can also wear sweetheart and scoop necklines.  You’re also one of the only body types that can get away with horizontal stripes. Wear them and make everyone else jealous!

Large bust: You need a great support system (besides your friends and relatives).  Your suit must have underwire and plenty of material, such as wide straps.  You need a high-cut (across chest) or straight-across top. These will keep the girls in check.  Stay away from halter tops, skinny-tie tops, and strapless suits.  All of these may come loose and leave you exposed!

Hourglass: You are to be envied.  Your body type can wear almost any variety or style of suit, in any color in your season.  Don’t taunt other people though! Play fair.

Pregnant: Your current figure has no issues, you just need to know how to dress it comfortably.  Choose a color you love.  Don’t be relegated to black.  Pick a joyful, bright pink, orange, or blue.  Have some fun!  Pick a suit that has support around your tummy, but doesn’t constrict it unnecessarily. Just remember, this too shall pass.

No matter what body type you have, remember that you need to dress age-appropriately.  Heather, the person who asked me to write this column (she is in no way related to ThirdCoast Digest), specifically asked me to address this issue. We’ve all seen the woman who thinks she’s 25 (or thinks she looks like she’s 25) when she’s actually quite a bit older than that.  Is there anything wrong with maturity?  Of course not!  When you dress appropriately for your age, your sexiness shines through. Stay away from thongs, tiny bikinis, and suits with little support.  Feel free to ask me if you’re wondering if a suit is appropriate.

Last tip: No matter what your body type, age, or other factors, a great-fitting suit makes all the difference. It shouldn’t ride up, move around, bunch up, or get caught in crevices.  Test drive the suit before you buy it by jumping up and down, bending, and twisting.  Do some crazy-hard yoga move, like the bird of paradise.  If it doesn’t move, you’ve found a winner.

**All photos courtesy Alaskan Dude via Flickr Creative Commons.