The Beatles, the Bible and the top of a hill

In this column, I talk a lot about my personal journeys, and I have to admit I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the one I’m on right now. It seems like my entire life has become one of those days where, if just one aspect were going a little more smoothly, I’m sure everything would seem better.

A few days ago, as I was out jogging, the phrase “up hill both ways” came to mind as a good analogy for the emotional road I’ve been on lately. But then I realized it’s not so much about my path being up hill both ways; it’s more about the fact that I’m still climbing. In other words, I don’t think I’ve gotten to the turnaround point quite yet — the place where momentum picks up, and it becomes a downhill battle instead. (Or better yet, not a battle at all.)

One detail I didn’t share about my most recent half marathon was the song that took me across the finish line. It was the timeless, yet somehow very timely, “Let It Be.”

While you may be wondering how such a mellow song could be motivating, it somehow made sense … After all, I was running a race that I trained for while dealing with one failed relationship, trying too hard at another and living with friends who took me in when things went south. (“When I find myself in times of trouble,” indeed.)

While three little words like, “Let it be,” say so very much, there’s another phrase that moves me — and it’s only two words: Be still. I believe they’re found in Psalms 46:10, where the full verse reads, “Be still and know that I am God.” I think that if that had been written in modern times, it would go something like this: “Okay, Michelle, don’t be such a control freak, move on and get over yourself; this isn’t even about you, silly.” Or, some variation of that.

My point is, Christian or otherwise, we humans sure have a habit of putting everything on our own shoulders. Many of us take on so much at home and work and in our friendships that it’s no wonder we’re tired. Or, at least I am.

Sometimes, I pause and wonder what exactly motivates me to hold on so tightly, and it usually comes back to the issue of trust — nor more accurately, not trusting. For a person of faith, I sure have a hard time believing in other people and even God …. Maybe that’s my Mount Everest right now. Maybe that’s why this hill seems so steep. Maybe, just maybe, when I learn to be still everything will be just as it should.

And that thought alone gives me new hope for this journey.