What to do when reset gets stuck

Reset. Do over. Take 2. Whatever you call it, starting over is at once exciting and exhausting, especially when it seems like you’re hitting reset every couple of months the way I have.

Whenever I take these steps back, I always think of it as a self-improvement project. Over the years, I’ve seen great progress with some of those projects, while others have been stalled by professional commitments, romantic endeavors and various other responsibilities. What I’ve learned so far is that I’m not much of a reset multitasker.

I’ve tried and tried to simultaneously be successful as a creative director, girlfriend, friend, volunteer, half-marathoner, aunt and the list goes on. But what I’ve never really tried is to separate all of those mini-Michelles so that I could give them each the attention and love they deserve. There may be some people out there who can “do it all” and who claim to “have it all,” but I can safely say I’m not one of them. Or, at least I’m willing to admit that something always seems to be slipping through the cracks — and I’m finally examining the reasons why.

Please don’t get me wrong – my life is very fulfilling. I’ve reaped the rewards of a lot of ongoing self-improvement and am excited about the chance to improve even further. But I have to admit, I’m tired of hitting the reset button. So, this time, I want to do it right. I’ve psychoanalyzed myself, self diagnosed, prayed, read self-help books and even gotten a second opinion from an actual therapist. And all of us agree: What I’m missing is a plan.

In this calculated, if-then brain of mine, I need a formula for which mini-me to nurture – and when. The roadblock I keep hitting is my desire to be all things to all people, coupled with my tendency to push forward on all fronts rather than slow down. Thankfully, although a bit painfully, I recently realized that the me I need to focus on is the me-me. The real one. The one shorn of all the labels.

Of course, my immediate reaction to this was: Who? I don’t think I know that girl. And therein lies the problem. I’m grateful for my close friends who have pointed this out to me in various ways, even though I can now admit I didn’t listen for a very, very long time. Now that the hard work of that realization is behind me, I’m focused on a bunch of other buttons that will help me get the reset unstuck. “Control”, “Option” and “Escape” come to mind — all of which give me ideas for how to take better care of me — the real me.