New Year’s Day Hangover Remedies

By Bridget Brave, Tom Ganos, Ryan Findley, Noah Therrien and Amy Elliott

This month in Eat This we featured a fresh, frilly New Year’s Eve menu from Dan Smith at McCormick’s and Schmick, perfect for entertaining and celebrating in style. But what do you eat on the morning (or more likely, afternoon) after? I asked VITAL Source Staffers, all of whom have plenty of experience, believe you me, with the dread Next Day. From easy microwave bacon to Nyquil and macaroni to what we have found to be the best Bloody in town (there is really nowhere I’d rather be on my worst mornings than Tom’s bar … or couch), we’ve got you covered. Be careful, have fun and feel better. – Amy Elliott

Simple breakfast
from Ryan Findley

You’ll need …
Frozen hashbrowns
Cooking oil of your choice
Bacon from the microwave
Grapefruit juice from concentrate
Bad movies, cartoons or TV shows on DVD

1. Start the hashbrowns. I like Ore-Ida, they’ve already got some seasoning on them, but not too much. Potatoes are starchy and filling and will soak up any leftover alcohol in your stomach while making you feel better. Heat oil in a skillet (you’ll need about a tablespoon – enough to fully coat the bottom of the pan). Dump the frozen potato pieces of goodness in and spread them out to a single layer. Leave them alone for at least 5 minutes, or until you start to see crunchy brown bits on the edges.

2. While the hashbrowns cook on the first side, make the grapefruit juice. I prefer grapefruit to orange because of the tartness – too much sugar will excerbate a hangover. Real grapefruit juice (and by that I mean the yellowy stuff, none of that Ruby Red) settles the stomach. I recommend Minute Maid frozen. Follow the directions on the can to prepare; all you’ll need is a pitcher and water, and a spoon to mix with.

3. Sprinkle the hashbrowns with salt and pepper and then flip them over. Again, leave them alone for at least 5 minutes, or until the crunchy brown bits are easily apparent at the edges.

4. While the hashbrowns cook on the other side, microwave some bacon.  Mostly because bacon is delicious, not for any medicinal purposes. If you have a microwave bacon cooker (a plastic tray with ridges to catch the grease and trap it away from the bacon while it cooks), use it. If not, a microwave-safe plate lined with paper towels will do. Start with two minutes on full power, and check the doneness.  Continue cooking in 30-second increments until the desired degree of crunchiness is achieved.

5. Transfer bacon to a plate, add the hashbrowns alongside when they’ve finished cooking, and pour yourself a nice tall glass of grapefruit juice. Sit in front of the television and watch bad movies at low volume while you eat.

Bridget’s Easy as Shit Slow-Cooked Italian Beef
From Bridget Brave

The beauty of this is that you can set it BEFORE you head out on NYE, and it won’t be done until you’ve already dragged your ass home and slept it off some.

You’ll need …
3 1/2 to 4 pounds beef roast, sirloin tip or rump roast
12 ounces (jar) Italian Giardiniera, drained, less if you want it less spicy
12 ounces (jar) pepperoncini peppers
1 envelope Zesty Italian dry salad dressing mix
10 ounce can condensed beef broth
French bread rolls

Place beef roast in a 3 1/2 to 5-quart slow cooker. Combine Giardiniera, pepperoncini peppers, dry salad dressing mix, and condensed beef broth. Add mixture to crockpot. Cover and cook on LOW for 12 to 14 hours, until meat is very tender. Serve on rolls.

Noah Therrien’s Hangover Surprise

You’ll need …
Two boxes of generic macaroni and cheese
Half pound brick of cheese, or however much cheese your body can take
A bottle of Nyquil
The biggest bottle of Vitamin Water you can find (I like XXX Berry, It’s tasty and makes me feel edgy at the same time!)

Warning: Must committ at least 6 hours to treatment

Fill Nyquil cup with recommended dosage and ingest. Though the bottle does not recommend it, and legally I do not either, take another swig (again, this is at your own discretion).

Ed. Note: it has been suggested that you could add the Nyquil to the macaroni, but we leave that iffy choice up to you.

Follow the instructions for making the Mac and Cheese. Mix desired amount of real cheese with Mac and Cheese (OOOOOHHH Baby, it’s gonna be thick!).

You may start to feel woozy at this point, so this is when speed counts. Eat as much Mac and Cheese as you can as fast as you can before getting completely full (obviously don’t push yourself till you puke or the entire treatment will be compromised). Wash down with Vitamin Water as you see fit (I usually use an entire bottle, but I’m 6′ 5″, so go at your own pace)

Lay down on your couch, or bed and watch television or read a book. You should be passed out within 20 minutes (this will happen suddenly, so prepare accordingly). You will wake up 4-6 hours later feeling like a ball of pure joy and sunshine. It never fails!

The Best Bloody Mary in the Midwest
from Tom Ganos, bartender, Roots Restaurant

3/4 oz.(about 7 shakes) Worcestershire Sauce (or soy sauce if vegan)
3/4 oz. beer (I like stouts if available, but anything will do)
1 1/2 oz. vodka
4 shakes Tobasco
4 to 5 shakes celery salt
3 shakes black pepper (or full twist if you have a pepper grinder)
1 shake of red pepper flakes
1 shake of salt
2 light squirts Sriracha
1 squirt or teaspoonful horseradish sauce
Splash pickle juice
Splash jalapeno juice
Splash lemon juice
Splash lime juice
Splash pineapple or orange juice

Fill the glass with tomato juice or V8 and shake with ice. Serve with whatever you like as garnish; I like bacon strips and bleu cheese olives!

When its finished it should look like THIS!