Ask The Dick Clark Poster!

Every so often, I’ll get a letter from a reader who has a question for The Dick Clark Poster. The Dick Clark Poster always has an answer… always. Here are a few questions and responses collected over the years…

Dear Dick Clark Poster: Is it true that you were part of a love triangle involving Margaret Trudeau and Alec Trebek back in the seventies?

Adrian Petersen, Petoskey, MI

Dick Clark Poster replies: No, that is not true kid, however… Alec Trebek did host a show produced by Dick Clark Productions for CBC Television back in the mid-seventies, and I believe Ms. Trudeau was a semi-regular celebrity guest on the show. I think the show was called “The $100,000 Donut”.

Dear Dick Clark Poster: Did GG Allin really reach into his pants and fling poo at the audience while performing on “American Bandstand”?

Bobby Robb, Secaucus, NJ

Listen kid, that story has changed wildly over the years. Now, GG Allin was never a guest on American Bandstand, but here’s what really did happen with GG Allin in American Bandstand’s first year: In AB’s first season, GG Allin’s parents brought him to the taping of Jerry Lee Lewis performing “Whole Lotta Shaking Going On.” GG, then just a toddler in diapers, became so excited once Jerry started playing that he crapped his diaper, pulled out the yellow plastic ducky head safety pin, jammed it through his right nostril, and then flung the soiled diaper into a group of studio dancers. Luckily, the diaper landed on the head of a female dancer whose beehive hairdo was so heavily lacquered she did not notice the diaper until the commercial break.

Dear Dick Clark Poster: Any truth to the rumor that former Minnesota Viking great and current Minnesota Supreme Court Justice Alan Page was once legal counsel to Prince early in his career?

Frank Schmermler, South Milwaukee, WI.

None whatsoever kid, but both men are, in fact, avid outdoorsmen who have been known to get together during bow season. It’s rumored that they invited Ted Nugent one year but quickly distanced themselves from him after Nugent insisted that he had a license to shoot and kill both deer and male Hmong over 150 lbs in any Midwestern state.

Oh, I almost forgot… Prince and Page are also ice fishing enthusiasts.

If you have a question for The Dick Clark Poster, email it to jnoise@gmail.com.