The Anti-Valentine’s Day

A bachelor’s manifesto

By - Feb 13th, 2011 04:00 am
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My sentiments exactly. Photo by L. Marie via Flickr.com (CC Lic.)

Valentine’s Day is awfully special, huh? Warm and cozy. A special snuggly day for chocolate and flowers and hand-holding and a bunch of other junk that I don’t especially care about.

I’m a dude, man.

This is no polemic against women or romance, nor am I writing about the suffering of my oh-so-tender heart: The (Motown) poets have said that a crying man is half a man, and I agree.

You’ll read a lot this month about finding love, being in love and loving someone special. I’m here to tell you that there is an upside to being unencumbered by romance.

When you get down to it, relationships are about compromise — putting up with someone’s crap in the hope that he/she is willing and able to put up with yours. But no one — male or female — should have put up with any romantic partner’s repeated and overt controlling behavior. I’m just a man, but I’m pretty sure I’ve accumulated enough life experience and wisdom to know a thing or two.

I’m well aware, for example, of whether I need a haircut.

Perhaps my shagginess indicates my status as a fantastic rock’n’roll guitarist who’s just too good-looking and brilliant to give a damn.

Or perhaps I haven’t been able to catch my preferred barber in his shop lately (he has another job which works against keeping regular hours); perhaps I am loathe to part with the 15 bucks until payday next. Perhaps I’ve got something more important than my own vanity going on.

Whatever the case, my tonsorial situation is my business and mine alone. And yes, in the interest of keeping the peace with a special lady, I once caved on this particular issue.

Shortly thereafter she quit me on the basis of my inability to compete with some sort of Internet fairy-tale game. Perhaps I’m not as wise as I think I am.

Anywho, this was supposed to relate to Valentine’s Day. If somebody (other than your mother) loves you, by all means appreciate it. Spend some money on trinkets, if you’re so inclined. Fake it if you’re not. If somebody’s putting up with your crap, be a sport and indulge him or her.

And try not to be too jealous of me as I celebrate the fact that this year, on this special day for loving and love, every nickel I spend will be spent on me.

Categories: Life & Leisure

0 thoughts on “The Anti-Valentine’s Day: A bachelor’s manifesto”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Try dating a small round green pea, instead. Stella XXOOO

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thanks a heap for encouraging the stereotypes of single and unattached as damaged, ornery, stubborn and ungenerous (apart from the apparent need to share your crab-assitude).

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