Divisionaries
Divisionaries

Week 12 — Where The Wild Cards Are

By - Dec 2nd, 2009 08:49 am

Week 12 Recap

Green Bay Packers 34, Detroit Lions 12
The Packers feasted on Detroit miscues all game, much to the dismay of Lions’ fans watching the game during Thanksgiving lunch (does anyone else’s family do this?). Aaron Rodgers made Donald Driver smile over and over again, completing seven passes Donald’s way for142 yards and a touchdown. The Packers offensive line limited the Lions to only one sack of Rodgers, although it did result in a fumble. For the third straight game, the Packers allowed fewer sacks than the previous game.

Green Bay’s defense intercepted Matthew Stafford four times, two of which came courtesy of Charles Woodson. Woodson ran the final one back for a touchdown to put the cranberry sauce on this turkey of a game.

Minnesota Vikings 36, Chicago Bears 10
Watching this game in Eugene, OR, did not make me feel any farther away from the thumping the Bears received from the Vikings Sunday afternoon in Minneapolis. The Mall of America looked like a war zone and there was nothing I could do about it.

Since they’ve been burned by him the past couple seasons, the Bears made it their mission to stop Adrian Peterson. Chicago’s defense did a decent job, which meant Favre was able to torch the Bears all day long. Favre had three touchdowns on 392 yards through the air. To add insult to injury, listening to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman gush over the 40-year-old was like listening to eighth-grade girls talk about boys and periods. It got so bad that my sister and I played a drinking game. Every time you hear “Favre is playing the greatest football of his life” take a drink. I’m told the second half was even worse for the Bears.

__________________________________

(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

__________________________________

Everyone correctly picked both games last week, but that’s not exactly an achievement considering the matchups. This week’s schedule features a trio of apparent mismatches and one battle royale. Let’s start the predictions!

Chicago Bears over St. Louis Rams (Unanimous!)
The Bears win, which will disappoint Denver more than anyone because it devalues their Round 1 pick — which currently stands as the 8th overall. -BB

Cincinnati Bengals over Detroit Lions (Unanimous!)
This game will not actually involve football, as Carson Palmer and Matt Stafford are nominated to decide the outcome with a quick game of Yahtzee. Amazingly, Detroit still loses 352 – 0. -MK

Minnesota Vikings over Arizona Cardinals (Unanimous!)
Yay! Another chance for Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to talk about wanting to swallow Favre’s load. I’d rather listen to Mexican radio. -KB

Baltimore Ravens over Green Bay Packers (Rob picks Packers, again; everyone else picks Baltimore)
In the first annual Eyebrow Bowl, Aaron Rodgers’ classic Arched Caterpillars, Reclining defeats Joe Flacco’s contradictory Dual Monobrow. -BB

Home-field advantage keeps Ray Lewis weaponless and the Packers victorious. -RV

Divisionaries is created by Rob Vosters (Milwaukee), Brian Howe Battle, Kenny Bernat and Matt Kroll (Chicago).

Leave a Reply

You must be an Urban Milwaukee member to leave a comment. Membership, which includes a host of perks, including an ad-free website, tickets to marquee events like Summerfest, the Wisconsin State Fair and the Florentine Opera, a better photo browser and access to members-only, behind-the-scenes tours, starts at $9/month. Learn more.

Join now and cancel anytime.

If you are an existing member, sign-in to leave a comment.

Have questions? Need to report an error? Contact Us