Jon Anne Willow

Naked is a state of mind

By - Jan 1st, 2008 02:52 pm

2007 was quite a year. It’s a true and complete summary, and pretty much expresses the one universal aspect of the passage of the twelve month period we’ve culturally agreed spans a calendar cycle. The events themselves were for me,as for you, momentous in ways, predictable in others. Periods of unbelievable chaos intermingled with bouts of monotony and fits of restlessness. And like you, I grew in ways and probably shrank in others. Also like you, I learned a few things and remembered a few I’d forgotten (to my detriment) and which, like thousands of other unimaginative columnists and bloggers reflecting on the old year and projecting for the new, I will share with you now in list form.

Living on your own terms is better than lots of money. It truly is, unless money alone is how you set the terms.

When you’re happy and you know it, then your face will really show it. People respond to positive vibrations, of course they do. Strangers smile at you, old men chat you up at the hardware store, kids and dogs climb all over you (but not cats – they’re consistently drawn to whoever doesn’t like them). Don’t fake it, though. That’s creepy and easy to identify.

Speak your mind when you have the chance. I learned this one the hard way, with a now-former dear friend. By the time I was honest about my fears for her, it was too late. I was already irrelevant.

Save your change. A lot of people already know this, but I came late to the game.

photo by Jim Herrington, photoshopped bikini by VS

Naked is a state of mind. This is possibly the most interesting thing I learned this year, when we published last month’s holiday cover featuring a beautiful young woman clad only in snow and a big red ribbon. Most folks loved the playfulness of it, though a few were concerned that we were objectifying women (Incidentally, we’re almost all women over here). Some mused (including two other publishers – go figure!) that we might have done it to sell more ads: a crazy idea, as anything vaguely risqué in Milwaukee tends to scare away more advertisers than it attracts. I’ve taken the liberty of showing, through a sloppy application of Photoshop, that she’s actually less naked than if she were wearing a bikini.

We got almost halfway through the month before the crazies started weighing in, but I guess it was inevitable. The one below is my favorite. Needless to say, fisher8624 never wrote back. I’ll leave you with it, as well as my response. VS

—–Original Message—–
From: fisher8624@yahoo.com
Subject: Your Nude Cover
FYI – a whole army of good upright people are taking stacks of your magazine with the nude cover and throwing them in the nearest trash can. STOP SPREADING PORN !!! We do not live in the backwoods of Africa where people run around with nothing on !! Your cover people may have such uncivilized tendencies but most of our society is civilized and hate nudity !!!

—–Original Message—–
From: Jon Anne Willow
To: ‘fisher8624@yahoo.com’
Subject: RE: Your Nude Cover

Dear Fisher8624,
I am sorry this month’s cover was not to your liking. I assure you there were no pornographic intentions, but clearly you’ve made your assessment already and there’s no need for us to debate whether any
objectification or other true affront to your decency occurred. Please do be advised, however, that destroying legally-produced printed material created for public consumption is against the law. This is my
product; I would not walk into your store and set your Bibles on fire: I would be arrested for doing so, and your actions are equally illegal.

Please cease and desist under penalty of law. If you would like to discuss the matter further with me, please feel free to contact me directly, but only if you are willing to provide your name. It really diminishes the credibility of your campaign of righteousness when you hide behind the ersatz anonymity of a signatureless email.

Best Regards, Jon Anne Willow

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